This is Myth 9 of 27 Myths about divorce that aren't likely to be true of committed Christians who love God and take their faith seriously. These messages make us worry if we're pleasing God. They contain little accusations that our motives aren't right. They make us second-guess ourselves when we try to get ourselves and our children to safety. Many of us have heard these messages all our lives and wanted to avoid them.  So although these myths may be true for people who are selfish or immature, they aren't true for a person who invested their heart and soul into the relationship, even when the other person didn't.  See all the myths on one page. See the next myth.

MYTH 9: You can't demand good treatment. Christians have no rights.

TRUTH: It is godly and biblical to call for justice and loving treatment for ourselves and others.

Similar to the teaching of "sin-leveling" (which we discussed in Myth 8) is the concept that we as Christians have no rights. This false belief says: Due to our sin, we deserve only judgment from God, and therefore can never speak up about evil done to us and demand justice. Being allowed to live is God's mercy. It would be impertinent to ask for more.

Then this teaching is stretched to further include the idea that we also deserve nothing good from anyone else in the world. It strongly implies that Christians aren’t allowed to speak up when they are being abused, cheated, or injured.

This teaching is nonsense.

When an abusive spouse denies your biblical right to faithfulness, respect, and care, this is a sign that something is not right. Beware of those who ignore your claims and silence you by invoking a “no talk” rule or a “no gossip” rule and try to keep you from telling the authorities, friends, and clergy.

When you have no voice and no power to shine the spotlight on injury, you are being silenced. We are required to speak up for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.

Open your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
—Proverbs 31:8-9 (ESV)

Give justice to the weak…
maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.
—Psalm 82:3 (ESV)


Are you going through a life-saving divorce? I’d like to invite you to my private Facebook group, "Life-Saving Divorce for Separated or Divorced Christians." Just click the link and ANSWER the 3 QUESTIONS. This is a group for women and men of faith who have walked this path, or are considering it. Supporters and people helpers are also welcome.  I’ve written a book about spiritual abuse and divorce for Christians. Also, sign up for my email list below.



Start Here



Does God Hate Divorce? He May Hate Divorce, But He Hates Abuse & Betrayal More!


Physical and Emotional Abuse & Infidelity

God Allows Divorce to Protect Victims


How to Find a Good Supportive Church


What If My Pastor Says It Would Be Wrong to Get Divorced for Abuse?



Divorce Saves Lives: The Surprising (Wonderful!) Truth About Divorce Nobody Told You

Will I Ever Find Love Again? Dating After Divorce: Good News

Finding Happiness and Health After Divorce


Thriving After Divorce: These Christians Tell their Stories

Self-Doubt, Second-Guessing Ourselves, and Gaslighting

Children and Divorce: Researchers Give Hope


High Conflict Divorce and Parenting

Recommended Reading List and Free Resources for Christians and Other People of Faith


Common Myths






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For more on the myths of divorce, buy the Life-Saving Divorce.

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