Safety-First vs. Marriage-First Counseling How to screen counselors—and protect yourself—when your marriage may be unsafe Most people who reach out for marriage...
Safety-First vs. Marriage-First Counseling
read more
Life-Saving
Divorce
Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships
You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce.
And get this, God will still love you. Really.
Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect?
If yes, you know you need to escape, but you’re probably worried about going against God’s will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you.
Welcome to Life-Saving Divorce, your resource center to finding clarity and support for your situation.
Featured on the Blog
What is a Life-Saving Divorce?
Nearly half of divorces in America are for serious issues: a pattern of adultery, sexual immorality, domestic violence, chronic emotional abuse, life-altering addictions, abandonment or severe neglect. I call these the Life-Saving Divorces.
By Gretchen Baskerville
In my interviews with Christian divorcees, I’ve often heard that they stayed in an unfaithful or abusive marriage for decades because they were taught that divorce was a sin.
This myth says that all divorce is forbidden by God, sinful, and unpardonable in God’s eyes-or, similarly, it says that Jesus or Paul never mention the topic of physical or emotional abuse, so those must not be biblical reasons for divorce.
Critics Push Back: Answering Objections to How Gary Chapman Talks About His Wife, Karolyn
Critics Push Back: Answering 7 Objections to How Gary Chapman Talks About His Wife, Karolyn Dec 13, 2025 — When I published my recent article examining how marriage...
The Surprising Way Dr. Gary Chapman Talks About His Wife, Karolyn — And Why It Matters
The Surprising Way Dr. Gary Chapman Talks About His Wife, Karolyn — And Why It Matters For decades, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, has been held up...
the Life-Saving Divorce On YouTube
Divorce as God's Protection of Women in the Bible
Dynamics of Abuse, Bob Hamp MFT
Myth: God Hates Divorce
20 Years in an Emotionally Destructive Christian Marriage | Cindy Burrell
Churches and Emotionally Abusive Christian Marriages
Divorce as God's Protection of Old Testament Wives
Featured Interview
Christian Post Article: “Spouses Suffering Abuse Find Empowerment to Leave Destructive Marriages in Secret Online Groups” by Brandon Showalter
Gretchen Baskerville was interviewed for this article published by The Christian Post. It discusses the secret online groups that provide encouragement and understanding for women and men of faith who need a life-saving divorce. Tens of thousands of committed...
PODCAST: Untangled Faith Interview Gretchen Baskerville “What We’ve Gotten Wrong About Divorce”
THIS WAS THE #1 DOWNLOADED EPISODE OF 2022 FOR THE UNTANGLE FAITH PODCAST: Host Amy Fritz and I talk about Bible verses about divorce (including 2 in the Old Testament that command divorce). We talk about Weekend to Remember, Christian authors, and Focus on the Family...
Leslie Vernick interviews Gretchen Baskerville on Destructive Christian Marriages and Divorce on the “Relationship Truth Podcast”
NEW PODCAST: Leslie Vernick interviewed me, Gretchen Baskerville, on the "Relationship Truth" podcast. Leslie Vernick - Enriching Relationships That Matter Most Vernick says, "Gretchen Baskerville was the ultimate good Christian girl. She followed all the "rules" so...
Need Resources?
Links, books, videos and resources on divorce, abuse, and co-parenting that we use personally.
Reading
The Life-Saving Divorce BOOK
Did you know Life-Saving Divorce started as a book? In the book you’ll learn:
- How to know if you should stay or if you should go.
- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse.
- Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren’t true for many Christians.
- Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children.
- How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce.
- How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce.
Ways to Buy The Book
:
:
Buy PDF
Praise for Life-Saving Divorce
“Mark my words—The Life-Saving Divorce is going to be a huge catalyst for change in the Christian community. Gretchen not only has years of experience working with Christian divorcees, but she has done hardcore research and produced an incredibly powerful, compassionate, and insightful solution for the destructive issues found in many Christian marriages. If you have ever wondered if God is okay with you and your divorce, you need to read this book.”
“I’m so thankful for Gretchen and this book… Gretchen uses her God-given gifts and her years spent leading divorce recovery groups to help regular people like me, who are still in a fog of disbelief (after 24+ months of leaving), come to grips with why divorce is okay with God in certain situations. She’s helping fight the imaginary taboo that regularly accompanies Christians who divorce. This book will help you. And please buy it for a friend who may feel trapped because of her devotion to our Lord—and her vows. It could save her life.”
“Gretchen is giving freedom for captives. She helped me think deeply about deeply held wrong ideas related to divorce!”
“This practical and straightforward book combines a traditional high regard for scripture with the latest results of academic research by Christian scholars and applies it to pastoral realities. The problem of abuse within marriage is shamefully common but rarely mentioned, especially in churches. The approach of this book is both empathic and well researched, employing the latest stats alongside clear advice. A must for anyone involved in pastoral work and a lifeline for those suffering within marriages.”
“Her voice is crucial, liberating, hopeful. She helped me see my life and marriage through God’s gracious eyes.”