Excommunication for Getting Divorced?

Churches that Excommunicate for Divorce
And How to Protect Yourself and Your Children

If your church tries to put you under church discipline for getting a divorce

If your church tries to put you under church discipline for getting a divorce, you can resign (in writing), even if you are already under church discipline and have signed a membership contract. Church membership is voluntary under the United States First Amendment. This blog post contain several links (and I will update with new information): (1) to an actual case, (2) answers to your questions, (3) sample resignation letter, (4) some survivor stories, and (5) Reformed pastor Jeff Crippen's insights on how the Church can handle physical and emotional abuse cases better.

• What if the church threatens to excommunicate me?  You can resign before they excommunicate you, even if you have a membership contract that requires you to submit to church discipline. Once you resign, they may still be able to remove you and tell the congregation the reason, but you don't have to obey them, meet with them, speak with them, or answer their communications. Also, there is a line they cannot step over. They cannot use violence, force, or threats of physical force, "intentional outrageous conduct," or fraud. They cannot engage in criminal behavior such as hacking, stalking, vandalism, false imprisonment or involuntary servitude.  Also if the church attempts to harm you in other ways "outside of the church's interest in its own institutional integrity," for example, to spoil your chances as a candidate in a political election, or presumably to defame you to your secular employer, that may be out of bounds, according to West Virginia Law  Review, Vol. 89, pp. 103-111.

• Has anyone won a lawsuit against a church that was trying to discipline them?  Here's a rare case where a woman sued her former church after being disciplined by the elders and won. She had resigned her membership, but the elders told four other congregations about her private life. "In a much publicized trial, the jury awarded Guinn $827,000 in actual and punitive damages. This amount was reduced by the trial court, and judgment was entered in the amount of $390,000" for invading her privacy. http://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from.../ also the legal verdict. and a discussion of the case here.  It is rare to win an "invasion of privacy" lawsuit against a church. But as stated above, a church cannot use violence, force, or threats of physical force, "intentional outrageous conduct," or fraud against a former member. It is illegal for a church to engage in criminal behavior such as hacking, stalking, vandalism, false imprisonment or involuntary servitude.

• Don't sign membership contracts. If you have, you may want to resign. Some churches wish to exert control over your life, some are aggressively harassing and defaming divorcing couples, stepping over the line of acceptable church discipline. At the bottom of this blog post, you'll see a case study.   You may want to resign, or let your membership lapse, or switch churches before you tell anyone at the church you're considering divorce.

• Can my church stop me from getting a divorce?  In the United States, churches don't have a say legally about whether you divorce or not. They may choose not to remarry you on their premises, but they cannot block you from divorcing. They also cannot block you from remarrying.

• How Can I Find a Sample Resignation Letter?  Near the bottom of this page is a sample letter and instructions on how to send it. http://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from-a-church-whether-or-not-you-are-under-church-discipline/

• Do you have any examples of people who've been excommunicated after a divorce — and went on to survive and thrive?  Yes. Read the story of Natalie Hoffman, a Christian wife (and mother of 9) who was excommunicated by her church. She went through with her divorce from an emotionally abusive husband and is now very happily remarried. She loves the Lord and has no regrets. She is thriving. She shares her story on her blog in several posts: HERE and  HERE and HERE and HERE.  She is now a blogger and runs a special group for women in abusive marriages. I interviewed her and she told her story on the video embedded below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCuLn_6joDc

• Another woman's story, Stephanie's, is told in 6 parts on Pastor Jeff Crippen's anti-abuse blog UnholyCharade.com.  Stephanie is an emotional and physical abuse survivor who was excommunicated from her church. Today she is thriving. Reformed Pastor Jeff Crippen tells her story and points out the evil the church has done to Stephanie. He takes Stephanie's side, and offers churches a better way to handle these situations, complete with biblical rationale.
  Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6