Pastors and Christian Leaders Speak Out
Below are pastors, theologians, authors, and Christian leaders who have spoken publicly about abuse, divorce, remarriage, and the responsibility of the church to protect the vulnerable.Pastor Neil Schori
The Edge Church, Aurora, Illinois Pastor Neil Schori was a key witness in the Drew Peterson murder case. One of Neil’s church members, Stacy Peterson, came to him and revealed that her husband had demanded she lie and cover up his murder of a previous wife. Thirty days later, Stacy, Drew’s fourth wife, disappeared. Neil’s testimony was key in convicting police officer Drew Peterson. Since then, Neil Schori has become a leading advocate for domestic violence awareness in Evangelical churches. Domestic Violence sermon: Audio sermon Video sermon
Pastor Sam Powell
Pastor Sam Powell has been a long-time blogger on divorce. Here are some of his most popular posts:- Divorce and Tempting God On the Heidelberg Catechism, question 105, specifically the phrase “nor willfully run into any danger.” The footnote refers to Matthew 4:7.
- Does the Bible Actually Say “God Hates Divorce” in Malachi 2:15–16? Part 1
- God Hates Divorce? Part 2
Pastor Steve Daugherty
Crosspointe Church, Cary, North Carolina Pastor Steve Daugherty interviewed me on the podcast Noises from the Attic about The Life-Saving Divorce. Listen to the Apple Podcasts episode Related: Why so many faithful divorcees can’t find a safe church home, good vs. bad pastoral counselors, what LifeWay reveals about pastors and divorcees, and why pastors should think twice before using Focus on the Family marriage materials.Pastor Jeff Crippen
Christ Reformation Church, Tillamook, Oregon Pastor Jeff Crippen has done biblical exposition on abuse and divorce. Related blog post: “She’s marrying a sociopath and there is nothing anyone can do about it.”Dr. Peter R. Shaw
Crosswalk Community Church, Napa, California Pastor Dr. Peter R. Shaw interviews District Attorney Allison Haley on domestic violence during a Sunday morning church service. This is a 36-minute video.Patrick Weaver Ministries
Pastor Jim Scudder Jr.
Dr. Wayne Grudem
Dr. Wayne Grudem now accepts physical abuse, verbal abuse, porn, threats, addictions, and abandonment by both unbelievers and believers as valid grounds for divorce. Read his paper.
Some of Wayne Grudem’s additional reasons for divorce from his 2019 paper.
Herb Vander Lugt
RBC Ministries / Radio Bible Class Herb Vander Lugt wrote a free pamphlet, God’s Protection of Women: When Abuse Is Worse Than Divorce, arguing from Scripture that both physical and emotional abuse are grounds for divorce. The free PDF is available here. A physical pamphlet is available here. I recommend making a generous donation. Foreword by Martin R. DeHaan II.
Pastor Chad Deitz
Heritage Free Will Baptist Church, Greenfield, CaliforniaPastor Sample Interviews Gretchen Baskerville
Pastor Sample interviews Gretchen Baskerville in three podcast episodes. We talk about how many life-saving divorces there are—the one-half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. We discuss why some churches are blind to the damage being done in abusive marriages in the secrecy of the home. We also talk about the spiritual ideology that traps abuse victims with their tormentors by virtually promising that if they just pray a bit more, God can—and will—perform a miracle. We talk about the Bible verses rarely discussed in church and the passages that condone divorce, and even command divorce.Australian Theologian Marg Mowczko
Australian theologian Marg Mowczko wrote a blog post giving biblical reasons for divorce based on Paul’s writings in 1 Corinthians. At the end, she concludes:“Some Christians think all marriages are sacred. Some marriages, however, are diabolical. Furthermore, people are more sacred than marriages, especially abusive marriages. People need to be cared for, protected, and loved, and not unwillingly sacrificed for an ideal. All biblical regulations and instructions, including those about divorce, must be applied with both wisdom and kindness. But please note that I am not promoting divorce. What I do say is this: if a marriage or a home is unsafe, we must not just allow people to leave, we need to help people to leave.”
Pastor Todd Bordow
Orthodox Presbyterian Church Pastor Todd Bordow wrote What Did Jesus Really Say About Divorce? It is a theological and biblical presentation based on his doctoral thesis. Below is his audio sermon on the topic. Here is one of his blog posts and a podcast with The Theology Gals. I appreciate Todd’s view because other OPC churches have coerced wives to stay with abusive husbands.Pastor Jeff Durbin
Apologia Church Pastor Jeff Durbin’s video series, “Is Divorce Sinful?” quotes Dr. Greg Bahnsen, who explains how emotional abuse is grounds for divorce and how “fornication” in Scripture has a broader definition than physical intimacy alone.Pastor Mike Kinman
Mike Kinman is a pastor who gets it about divorce. In this Facebook post, he compares an abusive Christian marriage to a communion cup with poison in it. Communion is meant to be holy, but is a communion cup with poison holy? No, it would harm you. Would you think a person who knowingly consumed a communion cup of poison was wise, discerning, or godly? A similar analogy is used by Jesus in Luke 13. How can the Sabbath be holy when daughters and sons of Abraham are left bound by a destructive spirit? Jesus said these men treated their animals better than a daughter of Abraham.K-LOVE Closer Look: Quarantine Drives Spike in Domestic Abuse
K-LOVE News · K-LOVE Closer Look: Quarantine Drives Spike In Domestic AbuseAdditional Church Response Resources
- 4 Things the Church Doesn’t Know About Abusive Marriages
- The Church’s Response to Abuse — sermon, approximately 1 hour
- Sermon Series: Hypocrisy Exposed
- Part 1: When Evil Pretends to Be Good
- Part 2: Discerning Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing
- Part 3: Walking in Integrity
Pastor David Orrison
The Chapel in Drake, Colorado Pastor David Orrison has been blogging about narcissists and other dangerous people in the church for many years. He considers it so important that he posts weekly on Fridays, which he has designated Narcissist Friday. Here are good places to start: Summary: Pastor Orrison has officiated at many second and third weddings. He acknowledges that churches vary widely in their policies, recommends Not In Bondage by Barbara Roberts for the suffering spouse, and says it is their decision.Additional Video
Ruth Graham
Evangelist Billy Graham’s daughter, Ruth Graham, talks about her abusive marriage and encourages others not to stay. She urges people to protect themselves and their children.Dr. David E. Clarke
On March 30, 2021, Dr. David E. Clarke posted a new podcast explaining that he had changed his mind about abuse. He now says physical and emotional abuse are valid grounds for divorce. He also states it in writing and talks in the podcast about his earlier view that divorce was only for unrepentant adultery and abandonment. Listen to minute 1:20–3:00. I truly applaud Clarke’s change and this public declaration. Clarke says he’ll get criticism, but he doesn’t care. That’s courage, and I honor that. I hope we see this change of mind for many other Christian leaders. I’m proud that he is one of the first to do this.
“Finally, we emphasize that no person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage. Some abused women believe that church teaching on the permanence of marriage requires them to stay in an abusive relationship. They may hesitate to seek a separation or divorce. They may fear that they cannot re-marry in the Church. Violence and abuse, not divorce, break up a marriage. We encourage abused persons who have divorced to investigate the possibility of seeking an annulment. An annulment, which determines that the marriage bond is not valid, can frequently open the door to healing.”
Scholarly Books on Biblical Reasons for Divorce
- Divorce and Remarriage in the Church and Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible, both by Dr. David Instone-Brewer
- And Marries Another, by Dr. Craig Keener
- To Have and to Hold, by David Atkinson
- Divorce and Remarriage, by William Luck
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