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Marriage Myth: It Takes “Two to Tango” and “All Marriage Problems are 50/50”

Marriage Myth: It Takes “Two to Tango” and “All Marriage Problems are 50/50”

by gbaskerville | Feb 16, 2022 | Adultery and Infidelity, Christians and Divorce, Gaslighting Examples, Myths

This is Myth 7 of 27 Myths about marriage and divorce that aren't likely to be true of people who love God and take their faith seriously. These messages make us worry if we're pleasing God. They contain little accusations that our motives aren't right. They make us...
Divorce Myth 1: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love

Divorce Myth 1: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love

by gbaskerville | Feb 10, 2022 | Myths

NOTE: This is Myth 1 of 27 Myths about divorce that aren't likely to be true of people who love God and take their faith seriously. These messages make us worry if we're pleasing God. They contain little accusations that our motives aren't right. They make us...
Critique: “Marriage is Hard. Divorce is Hard. Choose Your Hard.”

Critique: “Marriage is Hard. Divorce is Hard. Choose Your Hard.”

by gbaskerville | Dec 31, 2021 | Christians and Divorce, Gaslighting Examples, High-Conflict Divorces, Myths, Safe Churches & Friends

Critique of the Saying, “Marriage is Hard. Divorce is Hard. Choose Your Hard”   There’s a meme going around the internet and it starts with the line “Marriage is Hard. Divorce is Hard. Choose Your Hard.” . This maxim annoys me. It was written by some smug person...
“If I Divorce, Will My Children Divorce?” No. They are likely to have lifelong marriages.

“If I Divorce, Will My Children Divorce?” No. They are likely to have lifelong marriages.

by gbaskerville | Dec 28, 2021 | Divorce and Children, Myths

If I Divorce, Will My Kid’s Marriage End in Divorce, Too?   Most adults whose parents divorced do not divorce. They are likely to have lifelong marriages. The majority of people whose parents divorced have lifelong marriages. However, children from divorced homes...
Why Does She Stay In An Abusive Marriage? 50 Women & Men Tell Why

Why Does She Stay In An Abusive Marriage? 50 Women & Men Tell Why

by gbaskerville | Aug 22, 2021 | Christians and Divorce, Do I have biblical grounds for divorce?, First-person stories, For Pastors, Myths, What is a Life-Saving Divorce?

50 Abused Wives and Husbands Answer the Question: “Why Did You Stay So Long?”   People wonder why abused women and men stay with a dangerous spouse for so long. I asked people in my private Facebook group (Life-Saving Divorce for Separated and Divorced...
Why Did I Stay So Long When I Had Serious Grounds for Divorce?

Why Did I Stay So Long When I Had Serious Grounds for Divorce?

by gbaskerville | Aug 19, 2021 | Christians and Divorce, Do I have biblical grounds for divorce?, First-person stories, For Pastors, Myths, What is a Life-Saving Divorce?

Why did I stay so long when I had 100% serious biblical grounds for divorce? I asked this question in my private Facebook group, and here are some of the answers I received (anonymized, of course, to protect people's safety).     1. Because I was taught...
Top 5 Myths About Divorce that Don’t Apply to Christians and Others of Deep Faith

Top 5 Myths About Divorce that Don’t Apply to Christians and Others of Deep Faith

by gbaskerville | Apr 30, 2021 | Adultery and Infidelity, Christians and Divorce, For Pastors, Gaslighting Examples, Myths, Standers

5 MYTHS OF DIVORCE THAT DON'T APPLY TO COMMITTED CHRISTIANS (OR TO OTHER DEEPLY RELIGIOUS PEOPLE)   Let’s face it, well-meaning friends and family and even counselors give us advice on fixing our marriages: Try harder, pray more, be more agreeable, have more sex. But...
Should I Forgive Before the Sun Goes Down—Always?

Should I Forgive Before the Sun Goes Down—Always?

by gbaskerville | Mar 1, 2021 | Christians and Divorce, Myths

Forgiveness Is Complex because Abuse, Betrayal, and Neglect Are Complex   Not everything can be forgiven before the sun goes down. Nor should it. So how do we honor the Bible and at the same time honor our own need to process what's happened to us?   Let’s say...
Forgiveness Takes Time Where There’s Marital Abuse or Betrayal

Forgiveness Takes Time Where There’s Marital Abuse or Betrayal

by gbaskerville | Mar 1, 2021 | Christians and Divorce, Myths

Forgiveness Is Complex because Abuse, Betrayal, and Neglect Are Complex   Let’s say your spouse slaps you on the face. If you were confident it was accidental—perhaps he/she was swatting a fly and missed—that would be easy to handle. But in the case of abuse, it's not...
What Forgiveness Is—and Isn’t

What Forgiveness Is—and Isn’t

by gbaskerville | Feb 28, 2021 | Christians and Divorce, Myths

FORGIVENESS IS NOT SWEEPING EVERYTHING UNDER THE CARPET     Forgiveness is not… Forgiveness is… Forgiveness is not letting the offender off scot-free. Forgiveness is holding the offender responsible, including requiring reparations and accepting the legal...
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