This simple infographic explains the difference between "No Contact," "Gray Rock" (Grey Rock), and "Yellow Rock." These are methods to deal with manipulative, controlling, or difficult people in your life.

You are welcome to share this infographic.

Gray Rock is a method of dealing with a destructive person when you are legally required to have them in your life. For example, if you have joint custody of minor children together. If you aren't required to communicate with this toxic person, you would employ the No Contact strategy and never interact with them, ignoring their attempts to get you to engage with them, including emails, phone calls, texts, and letters, and efforts by their friends to contact you.

Gray Rock usually looks like:

(1) Only communicating in writing (text, email) so there is a paper trail, and lies are easier to document. If you ex is tech-savvy, you may need to communicate through one of the coparenting apps that difficult to falsify: OurFamilyWizard, AppClose, TalkingParents, etc.

(2) Short answers about logistics only.

(3) No emotion (no anger, defending, explaining) because any time you show emotion, they turn it against you.

(4) If needed, remind them of your court judgment, and merely say: "I will abide by the court ruling of Nov 5."  For a list of handy factual (and non-emotional) phrases to use with a manipulative ex, go HERE

(5) Getting good at saying, "You opinion is noted. I do not see that event the same way you do." And not one word more.

Yellow Rock is like Gray Rock, except you include "Thank you," "Please," and "Hello" in your communication.

For more information:
* The phrase "Gray Rock" [Grey Rock] was coined in the article: "The Gray Rock Method of Dealing With Psychopaths" Yellow Rock was coined by Tina Swithin,


Are you going through a life-saving divorce and need support and clarity? I’d like to invite you to my private Facebook group, "Life-Saving Divorce for Separated or Divorced Christians." Just click the link and ANSWER the 4 QUESTIONS. This is a group for women and men of faith who have walked this path, or are considering it. Supporters and people helpers are also welcome.  I’ve written a book on divorce for Christians and other people of faith, The Life-Saving Divorce: Paperback:  Or eBook:

Also, sign up for my email list below or HERE



Start Here



Does God Hate Divorce? God Gave Divorce Due to Hardhearted Abusers & Betrayers


Physical and Emotional Abuse & Infidelity


God Allows Divorce to Protect Victims


How to Find a Good Supportive Church


What If My Pastor Says It Would Be Wrong to Get Divorced for Abuse?



Divorce Saves Lives: The Surprising (Wonderful!) Truth About Divorce Nobody Told You

Will I Ever Find Love Again? Dating After Divorce: Good News

Finding Happiness and Health After Divorce


Thriving After Divorce: These Christians Tell their Stories

Self-Doubt, Second-Guessing Ourselves, and Gaslighting


Children and Divorce: Researchers Give Hope


High Conflict Divorce and Parenting


Recommended Reading List and Free Resources for Christians and Other People of Faith


Common Myths






GET THE BOOK! The Life-Saving Divorce is about divorces for very serious reasons: a pattern of sexual immorality, physical abuse, chronic emotional abuse, family-impairing addictions, abandonment, or severe neglect. This book will give you hope for your future, and optimism about your children. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.





SIGN UP below for the email list to find out about helpful new blog posts, videos, and FREE Kindle book giveaways.