My parents had elderly friends at our church who were an amazing, born-again Christian couple. They were loving and volunteered for everything at church. They were saintly believers and were devoted to prayer. They were wonderful models of Christian living and sacrificed their time and effort for others. They had no children, so they gave all their money to Christian causes.

The husband got very ill, and the church gathered to pray for him. The pastor and elders laid hands on him. The couple traveled to a revival where a faith healer invited people to come forward for healing.

Many people claimed to be cured, but our elderly friend wasn’t. They were told they didn’t have enough faith, that there must be hidden sin, and they hadn’t given enough money.

They were devastated and wondered what they did wrong.

They prayed, examined their lives, and went over and over to the revival meetings, but he still wasn’t healed. It was painful to watch this devout couple beating themselves up.

This story shows a toxic misunderstanding of God and his power, and it’s a shame these dear saints suffered from this false teaching.

In John 9, Jesus corrected this lie. His disciples asked him why a certain man had been born blind. Was it because of the man’s sin, or his parents’ sin? Jesus said, “Neither.”

Some troubles that afflict us and some challenges that we face are not punishments for our sin that God will remove and heal as soon as we repent. The entire book of Job also addresses this question. Job was accused by his friends of having some secret sin, but he maintained his innocence. In the end of the book, God tells Job’s judgmental buddies that they were wrong (Job 42:7-9).

The Prosperity Gospel and Marriage

In the story above, I showed the difference between Jesus’ teachings and the prosperity gospel mindset.

Jesus rejected this false belief. He taught that bad things happened to good people. The Bible says that God “sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45, NIV). Sure, there is a principle of reaping and sowing, but that doesn’t mean only good people get rich, and only bad, lazy people become poor. We all know godly people who are poor and evil people who are rich.

Just because some people say they were healed doesn’t mean all people will be healed. Don’t be like the false faith healers who say you’re doing something wrong if God doesn’t heal your marriage right now.

DOES GOD WANT ME TO STAY IN DANGER AND PRAY FOR A MIRACLE?

When someone tells you "God can change anyone," or “God can heal your unhappy marriage” if you just pray harder.” It’s not very helpful.

I’m sure your friend is well-meaning, but the fact your marriage is getting worse doesn’t fit their beliefs. So they blame you for a  lack of faith.

Remember how Satan tempted Jesus? Satan told Jesus to throw himself off the pinnacle of the Temple, a leap from 16 stories high, saying that God promised to do a miracle by sending angels. Satan used Scripture (Psalm 91:12) to pressure Jesus.

It would have been quite a spectacular way of proving to all of Jerusalem that Jesus was a godly and special person.

Jesus rebuked Satan and said,  “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

In other words, don’t stay in danger—or go in danger—and push God to do a showy miracle.

And by the way, if your well-meaning friend’s house was on fire I doubt they’d tell their children, “to stay and pray for a miracle.”

SUMMARY

1. Nancy Leigh DeMoss may be well-meaning, but she gives life-endangering advice.
2. Your bad marriage may not be evidence of your lack of faith, your sin, your hardheartedness, or falling to the Enemies' lies.
3. Bad things happen. And Jesus didn’t connect the blind man’s condition to his or his parents’ sin in John 9.
4. We are not to stay in danger and demand that God saves us. Remember the Temptation of Christ in the wilderness? Satan wanted Jesus to jump off the pinnacle of the Temple. Jesus said, no, that demanding miracles is tempting the Lord our God, and is prohibited (Mt 4:5-7).
5. We can walk away from a destructive marriage to save our life and sanity. It is not sin. It is not evidence of “falling into the Deceiver’s trap.” It is listening to our God-given sense of self-preservation.

This is the first of several reviews of Nancy Leigh DeMoss's book. I plan to review other sections. But because this one actively endangers lives, I felt it was important to post on its own. 

Footnotes:

^[1] Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Lies Women Believe (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2001).

^[2] Ibid., 159.