DIVORCE BASICS: ASK A PARALEGAL, LAURA HAUSER
. Just by watching this one-hour video, you’ll save hundreds of dollars (and lots of embarrassing mistakes) just by understanding the general concepts of family law court. I asked her the tough questions: How to pick an attorney? Should I delete my social media accounts? If I take psychiatric medications, will that count against me? What if I think my computer and phone are hacked? Can I change the locks? . 00:40 – Where do I start if I want to divorce? 01:00 – A notebook for your attorney 01:50 – Be aware of what types of information is “discoverable” by the other attorney. Know the penalty for not turning it over. 03:20 – Interviewing attorneys – What to look for? 04:48 – What will my attorney want to know? How much do I need to tell them? 05:00 – What can I do to keep costs down and prepare for my first meeting with the attorney? 07:20 – Documenting your time caring for children, down to the specific responsibilities. 07:50 – Holley Factors to determine what is the in the best interest of the child. These Texas guidelines are helpful no matter what state you’re in, to understand how the court views the situation. Go to www.lifesavingdivorce.com/holley for more information 08:00 – Gather 3rd-party backup to document your involvement with your children, in the form of school records, parent-teacher conferences, coaches, youth group leaders, etc. 08:45 – What kind of 3rd party backup do I need? 09:30 – Documentation from bosses and co-workers about harassment during the work day 10:15 – Getting documentation from management if you spouse tries to get you fired. 10:50 – Putting together a full witness list – People who know your story. 12:30 – Mental health treatment and the courts. 13:00 – How does the court see my mental health issues? Will they hold it against me if I’m depressed, bipolar, etc.? 13:15 – What if my ex says I’m crazy and have mental health issues? 14:00 – How do I document abuse that doesn’t leave bruises? Emotional abuse and the importance of 3rd party evidence. 17:00 – What if my ex looks great in court? 19:30 – Can my ex fool the judge? 20:45 – Courts ask for evidence. They don’t just trust one person’s word against the other. 22:20 – What to tell the kids. 23:40 – Co-parenting with an abuser. Keep and save the hostile texts, emails, and voice mails between the parties. (If you’ve left an abusive message, tell your attorney.) 26:30 – Call 9-1-1 if there’s been criminal behavior (threats, harassment, stalking, child abuse). 27:00 – What if the police don’t take it seriously, and do nothing? Then what? 30:15 – Can I change the locks on my home if awarded to me in temporary orders? 31:30 – Can I take my half of the money out of the bank? 32:50 – Can I pay for my attorney from our joint bank account? 34:30 – Staying safe online. Create a special email just for interacting with your attorney. 35:00 – Hacking into email is a crime. No one is allowed to put software or location trackers on someone else’s phone. And attorneys can subpoena ALL emails and social media accounts. 36:15 – Should I get off all social media? If not, should I delete the embarrassing things? 37:15 – Can I date or flirt or get close to someone online during my divorce? 38:00 – Can my comment in a private Facebook group be subpoenaed? Will it go against me, or might it help? 39:30 – What if I post evidence of abuse on social media? 40:30 – How do I know if I’m being hacked or tracked by my ex? 41:80 – How can I find a forensic specialist/investigator to sweep my car for GPS devices? 43:20 – Should I file first? 43:50 – Can my spouse stop a divorce by avoiding process servers? 45:50 – What if my ex injures one of our children? 46:30 – What is a GAL, guardian ad litem or amicus? Must I cooperate and participate in the process? 49:00 – Forensic psychological evaluations. Can they flip custody? Can my ex game the test? 56:50 – Will I find emotional support and moral vindication from the judge? 57:50 – Can I get more financial support if my ex committed adultery? 1:03:40 – How to build my credit during divorce if my parents help me with the legal fees. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLMU9qSYc4IDo You Need Support? I’d like to invite you to my private Facebook group, “Life-Saving Divorce for Separated or Divorced Christians.” ANSWER the 3 QUESTIONS. This is a group for women and men of faith who have walked this path, or are considering it.
- What is a Life-Saving Divorce? How Do We Know Half of Divorces are “Life-Saving”? (or watch the video)
- Life-Saving Divorce: Introduction What Is this Book About? (audio and transcript)
- About Me: Why Is a Nice Christian Girl Like Me Promoting Divorce?
- How Can I Get the Book, The Life-Saving Divorce? (Amazon affiliate link.) – FREE study guides for each chapter. – FREE videos for each chapter.
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Abuse is Biblical Grounds for Divorce
- Malachi 2:16 Haven’t Our English Bibles Always Said, “God hates divorce”? No.
- “But He Never Hit Me”: Divorce for Neglect, Emotional, and Financial Abuse
Physical and Emotional Abuse & Infidelity
- 130 Examples of Abuse: Emotional, Physical, Financial, Spiritual and Gaslighting
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- Severe Emotional Neglect: Toni’s Story of Finding Freedom (video)
- 40 Years of Murderous Rages and How I Got Free! Karen’s story (video)
- How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)
- Help! I’m Married to a Cheater: Should I Stay or Go?
- Married to a Pedophile: How I Got Out – Pam’s Story (video)
- Help! I Am Alone with the Abuser
- Jesus’ Greatest Divorce Sermon – Luke 13 (or watch the Video)
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- Myth: The Person Who Files for Divorce Caused the Divorce
- Haven’t Our English Bibles Always Said, “God hates divorce”? No.
- Jesus Said, “Love My Enemy”-Can I Still Divorce Them?
- But I Thought it Was God’s Will for Me to Marry this Person!
- Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)
- One Woman’s Story: Adultery, Prayer and the Bible
- Is Marriage an Unconditional Covenant or a Conditional One? (Video)
- Does Divorce Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church as John Piper Suggests?
- Divorce and the Good Samaritan Story
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church
- Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever
How to Find a Good Supportive Church
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- 7 Ways to Know if a Church is Safe for Abused Wives (or Abused Husbands)
- Do My Pastors Have a Say about Me Getting a Divorce?
- Good vs. Bad Pastoral Counselors on the Topic of Marital Abuse: 40 People Tell their Stories
- 5 Bible Verses that Say You Should Separate from an Abuser
- 1 Million God-honoring Divorcees Cannot Find a Good Church
- Church Denominations and Divorce Policies Comparison Chart
- Excommunication for Getting Divorced? What to Do!
- Evangelicals Shooting their Own Wounded Divorcees (video) or blog/transcript
- How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye
- Myth: You Don’t Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously
- Sermon Ideas for Domestic Violence Awareness Month – October
- Churches That Block Abused Wives (and Husbands) From Divorcing
- Southern Baptists make Evangelicalism Unsafe for Abused Wives & Husbands
- How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)
- List of Every Known Puritan Divorce in Massachusetts between 1639 and 1692.
- Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce (Nearly 8 in 10 Are!)
- 10 Facts Evangelical Pastors MUST Know about Kids and Divorce [VIDEO]
- There Is No Divorce Crisis. We have a Sin Crisis.
- Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love
- Will I Ever Find Love Again?
- Dating after Divorce: An interview with Gina Kaye
- I Fear I’ll Never Find a Healthy Relationship
- Remarriage after Divorce: How Can I Claim to be the Innocent Spouse? I Had My Faults Too!
- Will the Kids and I Ever Be Happy Again?
- Happiness Either Way: Remarriage or Staying Single
- Divorce May Improve Your Health: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts and Medical Issues
- How My Health Improved Dramatically After Divorce: Karen’s Story (video)
- “I’m Off of All My Depression Medications Now That I’ve Divorced” Schari’s story (video)
- PTSD, EMDR and My Major Health Improvements after Divorce Toni’s story (video)
- Christians Finding Peace after Divorce: Shirley Fessel, Author (Audio) or (Video)
- 10 Turning Points: Stories of How Others Decided to Stay or to Go
- Married to a Pedophile: How My Kids and I Got Free! (video)
- Finding Joy after a 40-Year Abusive Marriage (video)
- Can I Divorce My Mentally Ill, Destructive Spouse? Yes! Amanda’s Story (video)
- From Bondage to Glorifying God! 5 Survivor Stories (after 20-, 30-, 40-year long abusive marriages)
Self-Doubt, Second-Guessing Ourselves, and Gaslighting
- Am I the One Destroying the Relationship?
- How Can I Call Myself the Innocent Spouse? I Wasn’t Perfect Either (video)
- Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)
- Myth: He Wouldn’t Cheat or Watch Porn if You Gave Him More Sex
- Myth: You’re Lying: We’d All Know If Your Spouse Was That Bad
- Myth: It Takes “Two to Tango” and “All Marriage Problems are 50/50”
- How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye
- Is it Best to “Stay for the Kids”? Sometimes, yes. But Not if It’s a Toxic Marriage
- Researchers Know Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Life-Saving Divorce
- 5 Studies That Say Your Kids are Likely to Be Okay After Divorce (video)
- Marriage Does Not Guarantee Good Kids: 1 in 10 Kids from Married Two-Parent Homes are Troubled.
- Myth 21: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Research shows: Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce: In Fact It’s Best to Divorce to Get Away From Abuse
- 12 Ways to Document and Protect Yourself in a High-Conflict Divorce
- 12 Tips for Talking with Angry, Alienated Kids
- Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Myth: Your Marriage Would Be Great if You Just Submitted More
- Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Myth: You Just Didn’t Try Hard Enough
- Myth: You Don’t Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously
- Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church
- Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever
- Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love
- 27 Myths about Divorce That Probably Don’t Apply to Committed Christians
- Download “7 Effective Ways to End the Stigma of Divorce in the Church” (Sign up)
- Download “7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism when You Divorce” (Sign up)
- Download “3 Studies that Show Kids Are Most Likely to Turn Out Fine After Divorce” (Sign up at bottom of page)
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- 10 Key Highlights from the The Life-Saving Divorcebook: 10-minute video overview OR 10 Key highlights blog post
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- Gretchen’s Life-Saving Divorce Interviews in the Media