God’s View on Cruel Treatment
The Bible says that cruel treatment is serious. Even slaves were to be treated with respect. In Exodus 21:26-27, we learn that a slave owner had to let his slaves go free if he abused them—even if the abuse was not life-threatening. How much more should this apply to a wife?
Exodus 21:26-27 states: “When a man strikes the eye of his slave, male or female, and destroys it, he shall let the slave go free because of his eye. If he knocks out the tooth of his slave, male or female, he shall let the slave go free because of his tooth.”
Note that this Bible verse starts with the loss of an eye due to physical violence. Then it reduces that to the loss of just one tooth. (Most adults have about 28-32 teeth on average.) If the master hurts his slave, even in a non-lethal way, the slave is to GO FREE!
God doesn’t look away when your spouse abuses you. He sets you free. Even neglect of your basic needs, such as food, clothing, and love are considered so serious that the Bible commands indifferent, malicious, or irresponsible husbands to let their wives GO FREE in Exodus 21:10-11.
The Reality of Abuse in Christian Marriages
Have you been repeatedly injured verbally, emotionally, financially, or physically by your spouse? A report from the Institute for Family Studies found that 1 in 4 highly religious women in the United States had experienced abuse in their current relationship. They had asked highly religious women these 4 questions about their CURRENT partner/spouse. The 5 answer options were: “Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Fairly often, or Frequently.” One in four answered in the affirmative.
- -1. “How often does your partner physically hurt you?”
- -2. “How often does your partner threaten you with harm?”
- -3. “How often does your partner force you to have sex?”
- -4. “How often does your partner withhold money from you?”
Misconceptions About Forgiveness and Reconciliation
While forgiveness is a central tenet of Christianity, the idea that wives (and husbands) must always forgive and reconcile with abusive spouses, regardless of ongoing patterns of abuse, is not supported by a careful reading of Scripture.
Biblical Perspective on Safety and Harm
Contrary to common teachings, the Bible does not require victims to remain in abusive situations or to reconcile with abusers who persist in their behavior, even after tears of repentance. In fact, Scripture emphasizes the importance of safety and the gravity of causing harm to others. Jesus himself warned about the severe consequences for those who harm others, suggesting it would be better for them to face self-destruction than to continue harming someone else.
God’s Value of Your Safety and Well-being
Domestic abuse has no place in a Christian marriage. If you’re experiencing physical or emotional abuse, know that you are not alone and that God values your safety and well-being. If you were a mere slave, you would be set free. That is what God considered just and righteous.
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