Am I Being Abused? Am I in Danger?
FREE Questionnaires and Assessments
Are you wondering if you’re being abused or if this is a typical marriage, with normal highs and lows? Do other marriages have fear, confusion, and secrets in them? Do you feel controlled and sometimes resentful? Are other spouses pressured to do things when they are exhausted or ill?Do you feel that you’re always walking on eggshells around your spouse? Or that your spouse doesn’t care if you live or die?
Do you try to be 100% perfect but still get criticized?
Perhaps you are in a destructive marriage. Here are several self-tests to find out.
FREE Abuse and Danger Self-Tests, Assessments, and Questionnaires
- Free Questionnaire: Are You In An Emotionally Destructive Relationship? – Leslie Vernick – https://leslievernick.com/pdfs/Relationship-test.pdf
- Free MOSAIC Threat Assessment (Choose from: domestic violence, or workplace violence, or student threat) – https://www.mosaicmethod.com/
- Free Abuse Assessment – Hurt by Love – https://www.hurtbylove.com/what-is-abuse-3/abuse-assessment/
- Free Danger Assessment for Homicide Risk, Jacquelyn C. Campbell, Ph.D., R.N., Johns Hopkins – TEST: https://www.dojmt.gov/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/dangerassessment.pdf. How to score the test. (See page 3): https://www.ojp.gov/pdffiles1/jr000250e.pdf
- Free Questionnaire: Women’s Covert Abuse Assessment (See “Instant Access to the first chapter” enter your email and the survey will be sent to you with Chapter 1 of Natalie Hoffman’s book, Is it Me?) – www.flyingfreenow.com/is-it-me
- Free survey from the Office on Women’s Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services – https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/signs-abuse
- Free face-to-face questions to ask (Stanford Health Center Standardized Intake Admission and Abuse Screening)
https://domesticabuse.stanford.edu/screening/how.html – These mainly apply to physical abuse.
Questions to Ask Others to Find Out if they are Experiencing Abuse
Stress/safety:
1. What stresses do you experience in your relationships?
2. Do you feel safe in your relationship?
Afraid/abused:
3. People in relationships sometimes fight. What happens when you and your partner disagree?
4. Have there been situations in your relationship where you have felt afraid?
5. Have you been physically hurt or threatened by your partner?
6. Has your partner forced you to engage in sexual activities that you didn’t want?
Friends/family:
7. Are your friends and family aware of what is going on?
Emergency
8. Do you have a safe place to go in an emergency?
How to Legally Document Your Story: Injuries, Fears, and Threats
https://documenttheabuse.com/evidentiary-abuse-affidavit/eaa
“The purpose of this is to document your experiences, in your own words, and make a record of the abuse. You will place this Evidentiary Will and Abuse Affidavit document, which has been signed by you and notarized by witnesses, in a secure location. By filling this EAA app out online, is one way it will be kept in a secure location…. This contains information that is critical to your security. Leaving an abuser is a serious issue, and it requires careful planning. Whether leaving is not an option for you at the moment, [it is] strongly recommend you proceed with completing the Abuse Affidavit and video…. In the event that something happens to you, this information will be invaluable to the police, detectives and the legal system, ensuring that the person responsible is arrested and ultimately charged in your case.”
Do You Need Support? I’d like to invite you to my private Facebook group, “Life-Saving Divorce for Separated or Divorced Christians.” This is a group for women and men of faith who have walked this path, or are considering it. Allies and people helpers are also welcome. Just click the link and ANSWER the 3 QUESTIONS.
- What is a Life-Saving Divorce? How Do We Know Half of Divorces are “Life-Saving”? (or watch the video)
- Life-Saving Divorce: Introduction What Is this Book About? (audio and transcript)
- About Me: Why Is a Nice Christian Girl Like Me Promoting Divorce?
- How Can I Get the Book, The Life-Saving Divorce? (Amazon affiliate link.)
- Help! I Am Alone with the Abuser
- Abuse is Biblical Grounds for Divorce
- “But He Never Hit Me”: Divorce for Neglect, Emotional, and Financial Abuse
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- Severe Emotional Neglect: Toni’s Story of Finding Freedom (video)
- 40 Years of Murderous Rages and How I Got Free! Karen’s story (video)
- How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)
- Help! I’m Married to a Cheater: Should I Stay or Go?
- Married to a Pedophile: How I Got Out – Pam’s Story (video)
- Jesus’ Greatest Divorce Sermon – Luke 13 (or watch the Video)
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- Myth: The Person Who Files for Divorce Caused the Divorce
- Jesus Said, “Love My Enemy”-Can I Still Divorce Them?
- But I Thought it Was God’s Will for Me to Marry this Person!
- Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)
- One Woman’s Story: Adultery, Prayer and the Bible
- Is Marriage an Unconditional Covenant or a Conditional One? (Video)
- Does Divorce Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church as John Piper Suggests?
- Divorce and the Good Samaritan Story
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church
- Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever
How to Find a Good Supportive Church
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- 7 Ways to Know if a Church is Safe for Abused Wives (or Abused Husbands)
- Do My Pastors Have a Say about Me Getting a Divorce?
- Good vs. Bad Pastoral Counselors on the Topic of Marital Abuse: 40 People Tell their Stories
- 1 Million God-honoring Divorcees Cannot Find a Good Church
- Church Denominations and Divorce Policies Comparison Chart
- Excommunication for Getting Divorced? What to Do!
- Evangelicals Shooting their Own Wounded Divorcees (video) or blog/transcript
- How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye
- Myth: You Don’t Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously
- Sermon Ideas for Domestic Violence Awareness Month – October
- Churches That Block Abused Wives (and Husbands) From Divorcing
- Southern Baptists make Evangelicalism Unsafe for Abused Wives & Husbands
- How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)
- Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce (Nearly 8 in 10 Are!)
- 10 Facts Evangelical Pastors MUST Know about Kids and Divorce [VIDEO]
- There Is No Divorce Crisis. We have a Sin Crisis.
- Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love
- Will I Ever Find Love Again?
- Dating after Divorce: An interview with Gina Kaye
- I Fear I’ll Never Find a Healthy Relationship
- Remarriage after Divorce: How Can I Claim to be the Innocent Spouse? I Had My Faults Too!
- Will the Kids and I Ever Be Happy Again?
- Happiness Either Way: Remarriage or Staying Single
- Divorce May Improve Your Health: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts and Medical Issues
- How My Health Improved Dramatically After Divorce: Karen’s Story (video)
- “I’m Off of All My Depression Medications Now That I’ve Divorced” Schari’s story (video)
- PTSD, EMDR and My Major Health Improvements after Divorce Toni’s story (video)
- Christians Finding Peace after Divorce: Shirley Fessel, Author (Audio) or (Video)
- 10 Turning Points: Stories of How Others Decided to Stay or to Go
- Married to a Pedophile: How My Kids and I Got Free! (video)
- Finding Joy after a 40-Year Abusive Marriage (video)
- Can I Divorce My Mentally Ill, Destructive Spouse? Yes! Amanda’s Story (video)
- From Bondage to Glorifying God! 5 Survivor Stories (after 20-, 30-, 40-year long abusive marriages)
Self-Doubt, Second-Guessing Ourselves, and Gaslighting
- Am I the One Destroying the Relationship?
- How Can I Call Myself the Innocent Spouse? I Wasn’t Perfect Either (video)
- Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)
- Myth: He Wouldn’t Cheat or Watch Porn if You Gave Him More Sex
- Myth: You’re Lying: We’d All Know If Your Spouse Was That Bad
- Myth: It Takes “Two to Tango” and “All Marriage Problems are 50/50”
- How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye
- Researchers Know Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce
- 5 Studies That Say Your Kids are Likely to Be Okay After Divorce (video)
- Marriage Does Not Guarantee Good Kids: 1 in 10 Kids from Married Two-Parent Homes are Troubled.
- Myth 21: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Research shows: Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce: In Fact It’s Best to Divorce to Get Away From Abuse
- 12 Ways to Document and Protect Yourself in a High-Conflict Divorce
- 12 Tips for Talking with Angry, Alienated Kids
- Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Myth: Your Marriage Would Be Great if You Just Submitted More
- Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Myth: You Just Didn’t Try Hard Enough
- Myth: You Don’t Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously
- Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church
- Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever
- Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love
- 27 Myths about Divorce That Probably Don’t Apply to Committed Christians
- Download “7 Effective Ways to End the Stigma of Divorce in the Church” (Sign up)
- Download “7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism when You Divorce” (Sign up)
- Download “3 Studies that Show Kids Are Most Likely to Turn Out Fine After Divorce” (Sign up at bottom of page)
- Home Follow me on Facebook • Follow me on Twitter • Buy the book.
- 10 Key Highlights from the The Life-Saving Divorce book: 10-minute video overview OR 10 Key highlights blog post
- Request to Join the Life-Saving Divorce Private Facebook Group (Don’t forget to answer the 3 questions)
- Subscribe (FREE) to my You Tube Channel
- About Me Contact
- Gretchen’s Life-Saving Divorce Interviews in the Media
- Examples of 150 examples of types of abuse (physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, financial, and neglect) and explaining the term “gaslighting,” along with many first-person stories, read Chapter 4 in TheLife-Saving Divorce.
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