Sermon Ideas for Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October)
This is the best domestic violence sermon I’ve ever heard. It’s from Pastor Neil Schori, of the Edge Church, Aurora, IL. He tells his own story of counseling a woman in his church who was a domestic violence victim, and what he learned. And he gives the biblical basis to care about domestic violence victims.
Pastor Neil Schori’s basic DV training for pastors, church leaders, and volunteers
What should pastors do when someone comes and says they are a victim of physical or emotional abuse? Pastor Neil Schori, of the Edge Church in Aurora, Illinois, tells how he changed his approach to ministering to abuse victims, after one of his church members came to him to tell him about her fears about her husband. The woman, Stacy Peterson, disappeared 2 months later and was never seen again. Pastor Schori became a key witness in a murder trial against her husband, police officer Drew Peterson. Drew was convicted. Pastor Schori has a calling to train other pastors and church leaders to handle domestic violence (DV) better. In this powerful video, you’ll hear Pastor Schori talk about…
♦️ The story of Stacy and Drew Peterson – and the murder trial where Pastor Neil was a key witness. (To hear a longer version of this, watch Pastor Schori’s sermon https://youtu.be/74Eb1xqaiAg.)
♦️ How he found expert advice from DV awareness advocate Susan Murphy-Milano, and realized his masters degree in Counseling in seminary hadn’t trained him sufficiently.
♦️ 10:30 – 5 responsibilities of pastors and other church leaders
♦️12:15 – 3 Important Ways You Can Help Victims
♦️ 16:20 – Help victims find their voice and have an opportunity to share their story with safe people. And help them legally document their story for use as future evidence if necessary.
♦️17:20 – Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (the victim writing their story, then telling it on video, along with a notarized document) www.documenttheabuse.com
♦️20:30 – Men who are victims of abuse tend to go underground. Schori says about emotional abuse: “Violence to the soul is at least a damaging as physical violence.” Don’t share with just anyone.
♦️ 24:30 – Making changes to church policy and the official church position on divorce.
♦️ 26:11 – Biblical and theological reasoning for allowing divorce for abuse. PLUS recommended books and DV curriculum for churches at 31:17.
♦️ 30:25 – How Pastor Schori does staff and volunteer training on the topic of abuse.
♦️ 35:30 – DV training is mandatory for hair stylists and bar tenders. Why shouldn’t it be for pastors!
♦️ 36:15 – Nearly half of divorces the the U.S. are for very serious reasons.
♦️ 37:40 – “There are women killed every day because someone told them to stay.” Gray divorcees are often abuse victims who were shamed into staying “for the kids” when in reality, we now know that kids suffer in these high-conflict homes.
♦️ 37:55 – In the very high-conflict homes, it’s better for the children if their parents divorce than stay married. And indeed research shows that the worse the marriage the better divorce is for kids. TWO GRAPHS.
♦️ 38:45 – Nearly 8 in 10 kids of divorce turn out fine with no long-term serious emotional, psychological or social problems. 39:24 – Children in high-discord homes often wish their parents would divorce.
♦️ 40:15 – Luke 13 tells us about the heart of Jesus for those in pain.
♦️ 42:00 – Why divorce in cases of DV saves lives: no-fault divorce lowered the suicide rate, the domestic violence rate, and the homicide rate. To avoid the topic of divorce is to endanger people’s lives.
♦️ 43:20 – Don’t send people back. Don’t shame them for wanting to go. Support their wishes.
More Sermon ideas for Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October in the U.S.)
Excellent Sermon/Interview
Pastor (Dr.) Peter R. Shaw, Crosswalk Community Church, Napa, CA, interviews District Attorney Allison Haley on the topic of domestic violence during a Sunday morning church service. (36-minute video)
Resources for Pastors
Why We Don’t Recommend Couples Counseling for Abusive Relationships – https://www.thehotline.org/2014/08/01/why-we-dont-recommend-couples-counseling-for-abusive-relationships/
List of Bible Verses on Abuse – https://lifesavingdivorce.com/abuse-in-bible/
Surveys of Pastors: Changing Approaches
Overview: https://wewillspeakout.us/broken-silence/
2018 Survey Results showed a marked improvement
Harvard Divinity School’s Report: Interrogating the Silence: Religious Leaders’ Attitudes toward Sexual and Gender-based Violence
- What is a Life-Saving Divorce? How Do We Know Half of Divorces are “Life-Saving”? (or watch the video)
- Life-Saving Divorce: Introduction What Is this Book About? (audio and transcript)
- About Me: Why Is a Nice Christian Girl Like Me Promoting Divorce?
- How Can I Get the Book, The Life-Saving Divorce? (Amazon affiliate link.)
- Help! I Am Alone with the Abuser
- Abuse is Biblical Grounds for Divorce
- “But He Never Hit Me”: Divorce for Neglect, Emotional, and Financial Abuse
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- Severe Emotional Neglect: Toni’s Story of Finding Freedom (video)
- 40 Years of Murderous Rages and How I Got Free! Karen’s story (video)
- How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)
- Help! I’m Married to a Cheater: Should I Stay or Go?
- Married to a Pedophile: How I Got Out – Pam’s Story (video)
- Jesus’ Greatest Divorce Sermon – Luke 13 (or watch the Video)
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- Myth: The Person Who Files for Divorce Caused the Divorce
- Jesus Said, “Love My Enemy”-Can I Still Divorce Them?
- But I Thought it Was God’s Will for Me to Marry this Person!
- Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)
- One Woman’s Story: Adultery, Prayer and the Bible
- Is Marriage an Unconditional Covenant or a Conditional One? (Video)
- Does Divorce Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church as John Piper Suggests?
- Divorce and the Good Samaritan Story
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church
- Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever
How to Find a Good Supportive Church
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- 7 Ways to Know if a Church is Safe for Abused Wives (or Abused Husbands)
- Do My Pastors Have a Say about Me Getting a Divorce?
- Good vs. Bad Pastoral Counselors on the Topic of Marital Abuse: 40 People Tell their Stories
- 1 Million God-honoring Divorcees Cannot Find a Good Church
- Church Denominations and Divorce Policies Comparison Chart
- Excommunication for Getting Divorced? What to Do!
- Evangelicals Shooting their Own Wounded Divorcees (video) or blog/transcript
- How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye
- Myth: You Don’t Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously
- Sermon Ideas for Domestic Violence Awareness Month – October
- Churches That Block Abused Wives (and Husbands) From Divorcing
- Southern Baptists make Evangelicalism Unsafe for Abused Wives & Husbands
- How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)
- Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce (Nearly 8 in 10 Are!)
- 10 Facts Evangelical Pastors MUST Know about Kids and Divorce [VIDEO]
- There Is No Divorce Crisis. We have a Sin Crisis.
- Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love
- Will I Ever Find Love Again?
- Dating after Divorce: An interview with Gina Kaye
- I Fear I’ll Never Find a Healthy Relationship
- Remarriage after Divorce: How Can I Claim to be the Innocent Spouse? I Had My Faults Too!
- Will the Kids and I Ever Be Happy Again?
- Happiness Either Way: Remarriage or Staying Single
- Divorce May Improve Your Health: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts and Medical Issues
- How My Health Improved Dramatically After Divorce: Karen’s Story (video)
- “I’m Off of All My Depression Medications Now That I’ve Divorced” Schari’s story (video)
- PTSD, EMDR and My Major Health Improvements after Divorce Toni’s story (video)
- Christians Finding Peace after Divorce: Shirley Fessel, Author (Audio) or (Video)
- 10 Turning Points: Stories of How Others Decided to Stay or to Go
- Married to a Pedophile: How My Kids and I Got Free! (video)
- Finding Joy after a 40-Year Abusive Marriage (video)
- Can I Divorce My Mentally Ill, Destructive Spouse? Yes! Amanda’s Story (video)
- From Bondage to Glorifying God! 5 Survivor Stories (after 20-, 30-, 40-year long abusive marriages)
Self-Doubt, Second-Guessing Ourselves, and Gaslighting
- Am I the One Destroying the Relationship?
- How Can I Call Myself the Innocent Spouse? I Wasn’t Perfect Either (video)
- Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)
- Myth: He Wouldn’t Cheat or Watch Porn if You Gave Him More Sex
- Myth: You’re Lying: We’d All Know If Your Spouse Was That Bad
- Myth: It Takes “Two to Tango” and “All Marriage Problems are 50/50”
- How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye
- Researchers Know Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce
- 5 Studies That Say Your Kids are Likely to Be Okay After Divorce (video)
- Marriage Does Not Guarantee Good Kids: 1 in 10 Kids from Married Two-Parent Homes are Troubled.
- Myth 21: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Research shows: Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce: In Fact It’s Best to Divorce to Get Away From Abuse
- 12 Ways to Document and Protect Yourself in a High-Conflict Divorce
- 12 Tips for Talking with Angry, Alienated Kids
- Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Myth: Your Marriage Would Be Great if You Just Submitted More
- Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Myth: You Just Didn’t Try Hard Enough
- Myth: You Don’t Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously
- Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church
- Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever
- Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love
- 27 Myths about Divorce That Probably Don’t Apply to Committed Christians
- Download “7 Effective Ways to End the Stigma of Divorce in the Church” (Sign up)
- Download “7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism when You Divorce” (Sign up)
- Download “3 Studies that Show Kids Are Most Likely to Turn Out Fine After Divorce” (Sign up at bottom of page)
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- 10 Key Highlights from the The Life-Saving Divorce book: 10-minute video overview OR 10 Key highlights blog post
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- Gretchen’s Life-Saving Divorce Interviews in the Media
- Examples of 150 examples of types of abuse (physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, financial, and neglect) and explaining the term “gaslighting,” along with many first-person stories, read Chapter 4 in TheLife-Saving Divorce.
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