Wayne Grudem Changed His Mind on Abuse, Divorce, and Remarriage
Dr. Wayne Grudem’s acceptance of divorce and remarriage after abuse is revolutionary precisely because he is Wayne Grudem. He is a pillar of conservative evangelical theology, not a liberal theologian. That is why this change matters. He’s identified at least 6 types of abuse that may qualify as possible biblical grounds for divorce.
For my friends who look up to Dr. Grudem and take divorce and remarriage very seriously, this is an important change in his views.
As many know, Grudem originally held a two-reasons-for-divorce view, but after re-examining 1 Corinthians 7:10–11 and 1 Corinthians 7:15, he concluded that 1 Corinthians 7:10–11 points first toward separation and attempted restoration, while 1 Corinthians 7:15 (“in such cases”) can include abuse (physical, emotional, financial, etc., see list below) because it can destroy a marriage in a way similar to desertion.
And even CBMW (Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood) has published Wayne Grudem’s article arguing that abuse can be legitimate grounds for divorce using 1 Corinthians 7. For an organization that conservative, that is highly significant because 1 in 4 highly religious marriages report intimate partner violence.
Link to Grudem’s paper: https://www.waynegrudem.com/grounds-for-divorce-why-i-now-believe-there-are-more-than-two
Why Grudem’s Change Matters
Background: Wayne Grudem could never be called a “liberal revisionist.” He is a distinguished research professor of theology and biblical studies at Phoenix Seminary, formerly taught at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, holds degrees from Harvard, Westminster Seminary, and Cambridge, served as president of the Evangelical Theological Society, and wrote one of the best-known conservative evangelical theology textbooks. That is why his change matters.
In his paper, Grudem says divorce for severe abuse can be morally permissible, and he rejects lifelong separation without divorce as the only answer. His reason is that in 1 Corinthians 7:15 the deserted or abused spouse is “not enslaved” to the spouse who has destroyed the marriage.
He does not spell out a long separate section on remarriage, but he says “not enslaved” means the believer is no longer bound to that spouse, and he explicitly answers the objection, “Why not just lifelong separation without divorce?” by appealing to 1 Corinthians 7:15. So he is not arguing for permanent limbo. He wrote in 2013 that divorce and remarriage are “not wrong” in valid situations.
His Sequence
- first seek restoration, counseling, separation, and church discipline if possible, as reflected in 1 Corinthians 7:10–11
- but if the marriage has been destroyed by abuse or similarly destructive conduct, divorce is permissible under 1 Corinthians 7:15 and its phrase “in such cases”
So in practical terms, Grudem’s paper supports more than mere safety separation. It supports real divorce, and his “not enslaved” argument supports his long-held view that the victimized spouse is “free to marry someone else” where there are biblical grounds, i.e. adultery and abandonment—and now abuse including these specifics:
- financially destructive conduct
- physical abuse
- abuse of a child
- “relational cruelty” that is destroying the other spouse’s mental and emotional stability
- drug or alcohol addiction accompanied by lies, deception, theft, and/or violence
- gambling addiction that leads to massive debt and
- pornography addiction. See the exact wording for each of these in his paper.
He is also careful to say not every claim of abuse automatically justifies divorce. He repeatedly uses words like “might” and “could” because in his view pastors and counselors must assess the actual degree of harm and whether there is any realistic hope the destructive behavior has ended. (Note: I strongly disagree with this. No pastor, elder, leader, therapist, family member, or friend gets to decide how much you must suffer. They have no skin in the game. Only you know what’s going on behind closed doors, only you know how much you can take, and only you know when enough is enough.)
Other Conservative Theologians Who Hold His View (or Similar)
Dr. David Instone-Brewer’s Biblical View of Divorce and Remarriage
- 1 Corinthians 7:10 Explained: What Paul Meant About Separation, Divorce, and Remarriage
https://lifesavingdivorce.com/1-corinthians-7-10-biblical-divorce-explained/ - Can the Innocent Spouse Remarry? This Biblical Scholar, Dr. David Instone-Brewer, Says Yes
https://lifesavingdivorce.com/innocent-spouse-remarry-biblical-scholar-says-yes/ - “Let No Man Separate” Doesn’t Mean No Divorce for Any Reason — Matthew 19:6
https://lifesavingdivorce.com/matthew-19-6-let-no-one-separate-divorce/
The Reformer John Calvin
- John Calvin Was Better to Abused Wives Than Some of His Followers Are Today — https://lifesavingdivorce.com/calvin/
- List of Every Known Puritan Divorce in Massachusetts between 1639 and 1692 — https://lifesavingdivorce.com/puritans/
:
:
Buy PDF