Jesus Gave a Command Against Breaking a Marriage through Marriage-Endangering Sin
Not a Statement of Impossibility of Divorce
When Jesus said, “let no man separate” he was not saying a marriage can never end in divorce. In Matthew 19:6, the Greek is μὴ χωριζέτω—“let no one separate,” not “no one can separate.” David Instone-Brewer argues that many readers wrongly turn Jesus’ command into a statement of impossibility. But the imperative means separation is possible; people are being commanded not to be the spouse who tears or separates the marriage through their own sexual immorality, abuse, or abandonment what God has joined.
Scripture Forbids Breaking a Marriage Through Marriage-Endangering Sins
That matters because Scripture forbids breaking a marriage through marriage-endangering sins. Abuse, betrayal, and abandonment are not minor flaws inside an otherwise intact covenant. They are acts that attack the covenant itself. Instone-Brewer says spouses bind themselves by vows, while God joins them; therefore, to break those vows is to break the marriage bond God joined.
David Instone-Brewer on Matthew 19:6 and the Greek Imperative
David Instone-Brewer argues that many readers wrongly turn Jesus’ command into a statement of impossibility. But the imperative means separation is possible; people are being commanded not to tear apart what God has joined.
Craig Keener: Marriage “Should Not” Be Dissolved, But That Does Not Mean It “Cannot Be”
Craig Keener makes a similar point from another angle: marriage “should not be dissolved by people,” but that does not mean it “cannot be.”
Wayne Grudem on 1 Corinthians 7:15 and “In Such Cases”
Wayne Grudem likewise argues from 1 Corinthians 7:15 that abuse can fit Paul’s phrase “in such cases” when an abuser has effectively destroyed the marriage relationship.
So the point is simple: Scripture forbids breaking a marriage through marriage-endangering sins. It does not require a victim to pretend that abuse has not already broken it.
What about “The Two Shall Become One Flesh”?
David Instone-Brewer argues that in Matthew 19:4-6 Jesus uses “the two shall become one flesh” not to teach that marriage is literally impossible to dissolve, but to affirm monogamy and lifelong fidelity; on his reading, “let no one separate” is a command against breaking marriage, not a claim that separation cannot occur.
Further Reading
- Are abuse and family-crushing addictions valid biblical grounds for divorce?
- What are the 4 biblical grounds for divorce? Can I remarry if I was the innocent spouse?
- Marriage Is a Conditional Covenant (Not an Unconditional or Unbreakable Promise)
- Can I Divorce for Abuse? Can Christians Divorce for Abuse?
- The Bible Teaches Us to Get Away from Abusers
- Does 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 mean you cannot divorce.
Citations:
- David Instone-Brewer, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible, p. 140 (discussion of the Greek phrase)
- Ibid. p. 141.
- Ibid. p. 283 also gives answers to objections brought up by Augustine and Aquinas
- Craig S. Keener, And Marries Another
- Wayne Grudem, “Grounds for Divorce”
- “Two shall become one flesh” is a teaching on monogamy Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible, pp. 136-137. See long discussion supporting this.
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