1 in 4 Highly Religious U.S. Marriages Report Abuse
How Common Is Abuse in Christian Marriages?
Most people assume that deeply religious couples are protected from intimate partner violence. We expect churchgoing families to be safer, healthier, and more stable.
But the data tells a different story.
What the Research Found
According to conservative, pro-marriage researchers at the Institute for Family Studies, 1 in 4 highly religious U.S. marriages has experienced intimate partner violence in the current relationship.
That includes physical harm, threats, sexual coercion, or financial control.
Why This Matters for the Church
This is not a statistic from a secular activist group. It comes from a pro-family research organization. And their findings are clear:
In the United States, religiosity did not lower the rate of intimate partner violence.
That should cause every pastor, church leader, and Christian family to pause.
That’s a shocking claim, but apparently they’ve got the evidence.
The conservative pro-family, pro-church organization Institute for Family Studies published a report by researchers DeRose, Johnson, and Wang, who studied intimate partner violence in deeply religious couples in 11 countries, including the U.S.
They found that in the U.S., about 1 in 4 couples reported intimate partner violence (IPV) in their current relationship. Sadly, the finding was the same whether couples were highly religious or not. In other countries, religion made a difference — but not in the U.S. (See pages 36–37.)
The high IPV rates in the U.S. are not due to the proliferation of other religions. According to Pew Research, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, and Buddhist faiths combined make up only about 6% of the population. Christians represent the vast majority — more than 70% — of religious Americans.
“The findings from the U.S. indicate no differences in IPV with respect to couple religiosity…”
What Counts as Intimate Partner Violence? How Do You Measure Abuse?
Nearly 1 in 4 men who claimed to be highly religious also reported that they had perpetrated violence against their partner.
The men were asked:
- How often do you physically hurt your partner?
- How often do you threaten your partner with harm?
- How often do you force your partner to have sex?
- How often do you withhold money from your partner?
Answer choices: Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Fairly often, or Frequently.
The women were asked:
- How often does your partner physically hurt you?
- How often does your partner threaten you with harm?
- How often does your partner force you to have sex?
- How often does your partner withhold money from you?
In the U.S. (where Christianity is the predominant religion), there was no significant difference between religious and secular couples in reported IPV. The rate remained about 1 in 4 couples.
In a country of 330 million people — more than 125 million of whom are married — that suggests as many as 31 million individuals may be experiencing IPV in their current relationship.
What Can Our Churches Do?
- Be aware that far more people in your church are being abused than have ever admitted it. Abuse is a source of shame, and many victims stay silent.
- Understand why they don’t come forward — or why they minimize what is happening. Hear survivors explain why they stayed silent: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/stay2/
- Teach staff and volunteers how to recognize abuse and respond wisely. Here is a FREE domestic violence training video for church staff: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/dvoctober/
- Change how your church thinks about marital abuse: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/emotionalabuse/
- Read the words of survivors describing wonderful pastors — and harmful ones: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/good-vs-bad/
The Bible says a husband’s spiritual life will be hindered if he does not treat his wife with honor and understanding:
1 Peter 3:7 NLT: In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together… Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
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