The LifeWay Divorce Study: What the Data Reveals — And What Focus on the Family Hasn’t Addressed

In 2015, LifeWay Research conducted a national survey of 1,000 churchgoers who had divorced within the previous five years. The study was sponsored by Focus on the Family and titled Marriage Ministry and the Cost of Divorce for Churches.

The stated concern was the “cost” of divorce to churches.

But when you examine the data carefully, a different story emerges — one that challenges both common conservative Christian narratives and Focus on the Family’s public messaging.

More troubling: there is little evidence that these findings meaningfully reshaped how Focus on the Family talks about divorce today.

Find out what Lifeway learned about divorced Christians and what pastors need to know (below the video).

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1. These Were Highly Committed Believers

Three months prior to separating:

• 70% attended church weekly or more (p. 5)

• 88% described themselves as committed to their church (p. 8)

• 39% had regular church responsibilities (p. 9)

• 40% of those with responsibilities were teaching others (p. 11)

These were not marginal Christians. They were core participants. Leaders. Volunteers.

Yet they divorced.

That alone undermines the subtle but persistent implication that divorce largely stems from weak faith or lack of involvement.

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2. They Didn’t Leave Their Faith — They Often Stayed Engaged

One of the most striking findings comes after the divorce:

• 53% are still attending the same church they attended prior to separation (p. 36)

• Only 10% report that both former spouses remain in the same church together (p. 37)

This means many did not abandon church. They sometimes changed congregations — often because remaining together was not feasible — but they did not walk away from Christian faith.

The broader report (beyond the opening slides) shows that divorced believers frequently continue to:

• Attend church regularly

• Serve and volunteer

• Give financially

In fact, the data suggest that most continue donating at levels similar to — and in some cases greater than — before their divorce.

That is a critical point.

If divorce were primarily evidence of spiritual collapse, we would not expect to see such high rates of post-divorce spiritual growth. The data complicate the moral-failure narrative.

The institutional fear often implied in conservative messaging is that divorce results in spiritual drift and loss of church participation and giving.

But the study’s own findings show that most divorced believers remain active, engaged Christians.

They may change churches.

They do not necessarily change their faith.

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3. Many Sought Help — It Still Ended

The stereotype suggests divorce happens because couples didn’t try hard enough.

Yet:

• 48% discussed their marital difficulties with the lead pastor (p. 18)

• 57% received church counseling (p. 19)

• 42% received professional counseling outside the church (p. 24)

• 42% used church-provided marital counseling when available (p. 22)

These are not couples who “gave up easily.”

They sought intervention.

Focus on the Family often frames reconciliation as the preferred outcome whenever “there is any chance.” But this study shows that many of these couples had already pursued counseling — sometimes extensively — before divorcing. The data suggest that in many cases, divorce was not chosen prematurely. It was chosen after intervention failed. Note that Focus on the Family does not condone divorce for abuse.

When divorce is framed primarily through the lens of forgiveness and moving forward, responsibility can become blurred. Yet many divorces involve betrayal, addiction, or harm that is not evenly distributed. The study does not present these divorces as casual exits — it presents highly committed believers whose marriages ended despite effort. That distinction matters.

If we fail to acknowledge uneven harm and real patterns of betrayal, we risk placing equal moral weight on unequal behavior. That may preserve institutional simplicity — but it does not reflect lived reality.

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4. Shame Is Real — But So Is Spiritual Growth

The study reports:

• 34% feel they have failed God because of their divorce (p. 33)

• Nearly 70% say their divorce brought them closer to God (p. 34)

That is not spiritual collapse.

That is spiritual complexity.

If anything, it suggests that for many believers, divorce was not rebellion against God — but a crucible through which their faith deepened.

Yet much of Focus on the Family’s public narrative continues to frame divorce primarily in terms of loss, breakdown, and damage to families and churches.

The data show something more nuanced.

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5. The “Cost to Churches” Narrative Doesn’t Fully Hold

The study’s title centers the “cost of divorce for churches.”

But the data complicate that premise.

• Over half remain in their original church.

• Many who leave simply attend another Christian church.

• Many continue volunteering and giving.

• Nearly 70% grow spiritually.

Divorce does not appear to be a mass exodus from faith.

It may result in church transitions — especially when congregations struggle to navigate divided loyalties — but it does not equate to abandoning Christianity.

If anything, the data suggest that churches may lose members not because divorce destroys faith, but because congregational culture becomes strained or awkward after separation.

That is a different problem — and one that institutional preservation messaging does not solve.

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6. Many Wanted More Practical Help — Not Just Prevention Rhetoric

• 44% wished their church had given more hands-on help (p. 30)

• 41% wished their church had taught more about healthy marriage (p. 29)

If Focus on the Family took these findings seriously, we would expect greater emphasis on:

• Recognizing destructive patterns early

• Teaching about emotional and spiritual abuse

• Supporting separated spouses without stigma

• Publicly affirming that some divorces are protective

Instead, the dominant public messaging continues to focus primarily on marriage preservation.

The research they sponsored suggests the need for something more nuanced.

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The Real Contradiction

The common conservative narrative implies:

• Divorce weakens faith

• Divorce drains churches

• Divorce reflects spiritual failure

But this study shows:

• Divorcing churchgoers were highly committed

• Many sought extensive help

• Many continued serving and giving

• Many remained active in church life

• Many grew closer to God

The “cost to churches” may not be spiritual abandonment.

It may be discomfort with complexity.

If Focus on the Family is willing to sponsor research that reveals these realities, the next step would be allowing that research to shape its public theology and messaging.

Protecting marriage is important.

But protecting people — and telling the truth about what divorce actually looks like in faithful Christian lives — is equally important.

Until that shift happens, there will remain a gap between the data and the doctrine.

And that gap is where many committed, faithful believers quietly stand.

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1. Stop Assuming Divorce Equals Weak Faith

The majority of those who divorced were deeply committed believers:

• 70% attended weekly.

• 88% were committed to their church.

• Many were teaching and leading.

Divorce in your congregation is not primarily a discipleship failure. It often happens among your most faithful members. Treat it as pastoral complexity — not rebellion.

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2. Trying Hard Doesn’t Guarantee Saving a Marriage

Over half received church counseling. Nearly half talked to their lead pastor. Many sought outside professional help.

When a marriage ends despite effort, resist the urge to imply they “didn’t persevere.” Some marriages end after sincere, repeated attempts at repair.

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3. Divorced Members Usually Don’t Leave Christianity

Most remain active in church life. Many continue serving and giving. Over half stay in the same church; many others simply relocate congregations.

The issue is often church culture, not faith abandonment. If they leave, ask whether divided loyalties or discomfort pushed them out.

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4. Shame Is Real — But So Is Spiritual Growth

One-third feel they failed God. Yet nearly 70% say divorce brought them closer to Him.

Your tone matters. You can either amplify shame — or help them interpret suffering as a place where God meets them.

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5. Prevention Requires More Than Marriage Promotion

Many wished for more hands-on help and better teaching on healthy marriage.

For many, “more hands-on help” is code for: Please address abuse, control, and deception directly — not just teach better communication.

Prevention means teaching about:

• Emotional and spiritual abuse

• Power imbalances

• Healthy boundaries

• When safety must take priority

Protecting marriage is good.
Protecting people is essential.

Pastors who understand both will shepherd wisely.

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