Standing there, reading those words, I nearly fell over. Who believes this? Certainly not anyone who’s lived through addiction, serial infidelity, or abuse. It sounds like spiritual quick-fix marketing.—“God will give you a miracle if you pay us $6,000!” And unfortunately, Christian audiences have snapped it up. Last year alone, Hope Restored brought in over $8 million, despite lacking any scientific proof of success.

Every week, posts flood my 6,000-member online community, The Life-Saving Divorce Private Group on Facebook. Many of these are Christian women and men, desperate for answers, who tried this marriage intensive hoping to find real healing and accountability. Most were reeling from betrayal and abuse. Instead of honesty and support, they left hurt, unseen, and disappointed.

When I polled 330 attendees of Christian marriage intensives,
seven in ten divorced or separated. Another 10% were planning to.

Hope Restored’s marketing department is notorious for making big, unproven claims. Despite the testimonials, there’s not a single scientifically valid study to back up their results. In fact, their claims could draw FTC scrutiny because health-related marketing requires substantiation—credible, peer-reviewed clinical evidence—before making claims about success. Companies that break these rules face stiff penalties.

Robert S. Paul, Hope Restored’s co-founder, recently gave a workshop at the AACC conference. For 70 minutes, he talked about self-care and church teachings—but not once did he mention the word “abuse.” When asked, he cited a 2011 “study” as proving their effectiveness. But that wasn’t a peer-reviewed study—it was internal marketing research—and it was a scientific fail. They reached out to nearly 2,100 recent attendees with a fairly short survey,  just one-fifth of individual attendees—about 2 in 10 individuals—making up only about one-third of couples—responded to the survey (Paul et al., 2011, p. 212).  To see my critique of that study’s 12 flaws, read here: lifesavingdivorce.com/hoperestoredfail.

Why do the Hope Restored founders keep making these miracles claims without evidence? Consider the incentives:

• Financial and Institutional: The marriage intensive earns millions. Admitting poor long-term results would undercut sales and credibility.

• Theological Identity: The founders are committed to an evangelical theology of marriage permanence. For them, restored marriages are proof of God’s handiwork, even if inconvenient details are ignored.

• Marketing Echo Chamber: They’re surrounded by glowing testimonials, cherry-picked stories, and little outside accountability.

• Reputation Management: Admitting failure means facing the pain they’ve caused and risking legal trouble.

It’s easier for the program to protect the myth than face the hard truth of poor outcomes.

Back in 2011, the National Institute of Marriage (now Hope Restored) put out their best “success story.” Fast forward to today—the results don’t appear to have improved. Key problems include:

• Response Bias: Only 2 in 10 past participants filled out the survey. Most simply didn’t respond. The logical assumption is that these couples did not find success.

• Conflict of Interest: Every author of the flagship study was a paid program staff member—hardly neutral.

• Lack of Independent Research: No outside experts have verified results.

• Cherry-Picked Outcomes: Only the most motivated, satisfied customers responded, which skews data.

• No Negative Outcomes Reported: Reporting only positive news is statistically impossible in real therapy research. Not one person in more than 400 reported anything negative or even slightly negative about the program. Perhaps that’s because they didn’t survey people who attended by didn’t stay for the entire program.

• Expensive But Unproven: Despite the $6,000 price tag, there’s still no clinical evidence that the program works for deeply distressed couples.

• Pressure Marketing to Desperate Couples: The program targets people in desperate situations who are headed for divorce, yet claims not to accept clients dealing with “addiction, infidelity, or abuse.” Despite that, it’s sold as a miracle for all.

President Jim Daly has called Hope Restored the “marriage emergency room,” claiming it saves the “emergencies”—which, for him, means divorces. But true emergencies include domestic violence, suicide risk, and child abuse, not merely marital unhappiness. Yet Focus on the Family’s official policy opposes divorce in cases of abuse, even in cases of chronic violence. Their own doctrinal statement never condones divorce for violence, emotional abuse, or neglect.

The program’s advertising leans heavily on faith and fear. When they say, “Are you open to God working a miracle?”—the implicit message is that your doubts mean you lack faith. If you don’t get a miracle, the blame falls squarely on your shoulders, not theirs. For victims, this feels like manipulation, not ministry. According to the American Association of Christian Counselors Code of Ethics (Section 1-820), they’re violating the standards by making sensational claims without proper evidence, exploiting fears, and implying unique abilities to perform miracles.

Hope Restored claims to keep 80% of couples together for two years. But even then, their own stated success is dropping: from 85% success in 2016 to 80% in 2019. Divorce often takes several years to finalize, especially when abuse is involved. In my 2023 survey, nearly 90% of past attendees wouldn’t recommend Hope Restored.

Here are the marital status numbers for 44 Hope Restored attendees between 2015 and 2023 (author’s 2023 independent survey of Hope Restored participants; methodology summarized at lifesavingdivorce.com/hoperestoredfail)

The Hope Restored model focuses on spiritual and personal “corruption and neglect of self” as the root of marital woes. This subtly blames victims for their own mistreatment instead of confronting the real issue—abusive partners. Safety and well-being should always take priority, but in the Hope Restored narrative, preserving the institution of marriage eclipses the need for actual change or accountability.

Past participants have said that Hope Restored’s satisfaction surveys are framed so positively that negative responses are nearly impossible to record. Many participants report that their actual stories—of continued abuse, adultery, and trauma—are ignored or erased. If a program refuses to collect or publish negative outcomes, how can it truly claim effectiveness?

Should you spend $6,000 on a Hope Restored intensive? For most couples struggling with abuse, serial cheating, or addiction, I would suggest the answer is “no.”  In my 2023 survey, dozens of victims said that the Hope Restored marriage intensive would only be helpful for marriages struggling with normal stressors—job loss, illness, loss—not for marriages with abuse or betrayal.

Despite slick advertising and emotional appeals to your faith, Hope Restored’s track record fails to support its miracle claims. Divorce sometimes genuinely saves lives. No intensive weekend—no matter how biblical, no matter how well-meaning—can cure addiction, violence, or serial infidelity in a matter of days. When Focus on the Family prioritizes marital status over client safety, it fails not just its clients, but its mission.

Thinking of signing up? Consider this your warning: Hope Restored likely won’t “fix” an abusive, unfaithful, addicted, or deeply distressed marriage.

🙏 If You Need Help Right Now

If your marriage feels unsafe—emotionally, physically, or spiritually—you are not alone, and you do not have to stay in harm’s way to prove your faith.
You deserve safety, support, and people who believe you.

All of these resources are free and confidential:

🇺🇸 United States

• National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call or text 988, then press 1, or chat at thehotline.org.
  (Available 24/7. Faith-based and secular advocates available on request.)

• FaithTrust Institute — faithtrustinstitute.org — faith-centered training and survivor support.

🇨🇦 Canada

• ShelterSafe.ca — Find local shelters by province.

• Talk 4 Healing (Ontario) — Call or text 1-855-554-HEAL (4325) — multilingual support for women.

🇬🇧 United Kingdom

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline — Call 0808 2000 247 (24 hours, free, confidential).

• Restored UK — restored-uk.org — Christian network supporting survivors of domestic abuse.

🇦🇺 Australia

• 1800 RESPECT — Call 1800 737 732 or chat at 1800respect.org.au.

• Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria — dvrcv.org.au — information and faith-inclusive resources.

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💬 Please remember

Leaving an abusive marriage is not a lack of faith.
It’s a step toward healing, safety, and truth.

You are precious.
Your life matters.
And God does not require you to be abused to prove your loyalty.