Question of the Day from a Divorced Mother of Young Children with Shared Custody:
“Is there a preferred phone, app, or texting application that you have given your young child so that they can reach out via call or text to the “off duty” parent when away? My daughter is 6 and while she isn’t old enough to have a phone yet, I do want her to have a way to reach out to me if she needs to without having to use her dad’s phone.”
.
This question was asked in my private “Life-Saving Divorce” group on Facebook. Here are answers from real parents who have found a solution. (Their answers have been anonymized for their privacy.)
10 Ways To Stay In Touch With Your Children When They Are With The Other Parent
.
1) Gabb wireless watch or phone
-“I got my daughter a Gabb watch. She can text and call me on it and it has GPS.”
-” I also went with Gabb. (If you want a discount, you can use a code from a current customer and you both get credit.)”
-“The benefit of using Gabb is that there is no internet available on the device at all. This means there is no browser and no social media apps. The phone only has the ability to talk and text.” –Online review
-“Gabb wireless phone. All they can do is text or make phone calls. No apps. Can’t text pictures or group text.”
.
2) Gizmo watch phone
-“Gizmo watch phone. I already had a Verizon plan, and I think it was around $5/mo. to add this, if not you can set up a plan just for that for about $20/mo. I don’t think that Gizmo watches provide continuous location tracking, but you can set it to check the location or you can set it to send you location updates at scheduled times.”
-“It has GPS tracking.”
-“If you want video, buy the Disney Gizmo.”
.
3) Alexa
-“I just let my kids use Alexa (or Echo).” Alexa can call other compatible Alexa’s or Echos or Echo Dots or smartphones. You need an Amazon account and a mobile number and the most recent version of the Alexa app. You also need to sign up for the Alexa Calling service. More steps here. Once set up, your kids can say, “Call mom at home.” Or “Call Mom’s mobile.” Or “Call mom at work.”
.
4) Messenger Kids from Facebook
-“Your kids have a sub-account under your Facebook account that you control. You can set them up to talk to both adults and even their friends (you can control which friends). They can text or video chat. My kids have a tablet that they can use to access it.”
.
-“How is the Wi-Fi in places they go? If pretty good, just use Messenger Kids. No need to pay for a SIM card that comes with a monthly subscription price. They already have a device? Do you have an old phone? If not, I like Amazon Fire tablets and load Google Play Store yourself.” You can do an online search on how to install it. The tablets are inexpensive compared to Android tablets or iPads.
.
5) Pinwheel Phone
– “I have a child with intellectual disability who needs a phone for work, keeping in touch with friends, etc. Child is easily tricked so I have to limit who can contact them and no access to social media is permitted. A Pinwheel phone + Bark.com (parent controls to filter keywords and monitor social media) has been a good fit for this situation. My child can talk to friends but I can supervise remotely as needed.”
.
6) Together App
-For young children. The “Together Family Video Chat” app was created for grandparents to stay in touch with their kids, play games together, read books to the children, and chat. For Apple or Android phones or tablet.
.
7) Google Voice
Google Voice gives you a phone number for calling, text messaging, and voicemail. It works on smartphones and computers, and syncs across your devices so you can use the app in the office, at home, or on the go.
8) TracFones or Other Phones with Pay-as-You-Go
-“My kids had a plain TracFone that they only had when they went to their dad’s house. So they could call me if needed (or vice versa) and a nightly, good night call. I paid $20 for 90 days. Since it was by the minute, no calls were made to others without permission or emergency.”
.
.
OTHER HELPFUL IDEAS
9) Bark.com for Parent Controls on iPhones, Android, other Mobile Devices
“Bark helps families manage and protect their children’s online lives. We monitor 30+ of the most popular apps and social media platforms, including text messaging and email, for signs of digital dangers. Our screen time management and web filtering tools help you set healthy limits around how and when your kids use their devices” -Bark company description
.
10) Other Clever Safety ideas
-HELP! emoji – “My 14 yr old keeps his iPhone on him at all times. We have a “code” emoji so if he’s ever in an uncomfortable situation but can’t talk, he knows what emoji to send to let me know something is wrong.
.
11) What to Monitor
-“I check texts to see who they are chatting with and content of those chats, I just randomly look at different ones. I check their photos to see what they have pictures of. Occasionally I check their Instagram direct messages.”
.
.
FEATURES TO LOOK FOR:
.
Does it have?
- GPS tracking to find the child’s location? Is it continuous? If not, can you set up the tracking to alert you every day?
- Ability to approve or block certain people/friends/sites?
- Can you limit the call list?
- Cost for device or app?
- Contract or month-to-month?
- Does it require the internet?
- Can I control the social media or games installed?
- Can you monitor or control the use? For example, could it be used in the middle of the night? Or used continuously for more than an hour?
Are you going through a life-saving divorce and need support and clarity? I’d like to invite you to my private Facebook group, “Life-Saving Divorce for Separated or Divorced Christians.” Just click the link and ANSWER the 4 QUESTIONS. This is a group for women and men of faith who have walked this path, or are considering it. Supporters and people helpers are also welcome. I’ve written a book on divorce for Christians and other people of faith, The Life-Saving Divorce: Paperback: https://amzn.to/3cF1j25 Or eBook: https://amzn.to/3CCBsnr
Also, sign up for my email list below or HERE www.lifesavingdivorce.com/courage
MOST POPULAR BLOG POSTS
Start Here
- What is a Life-Saving Divorce? How Do We Know Half of Divorces are “Life-Saving”? (or watch the video)
- Life-Saving Divorce: Introduction What Is this Book About? (audio and transcript)
- About Me: Why Is a Nice Christian Girl Like Me Promoting Divorce?
- How Can I Get the Book, The Life-Saving Divorce? (Amazon affiliate link.) – FREE study guides for each chapter. – FREE videos for each chapter.
Does God Hate Divorce? God Gave Divorce Due to Hardhearted Abusers & Betrayers
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Abuse is Biblical Grounds for Divorce
- Malachi 2:16 Haven’t Our English Bibles Always Said, “God hates divorce”? No.
- “But He Never Hit Me”: Divorce for Neglect, Emotional, and Financial Abuse
Physical and Emotional Abuse & Infidelity
- 130 Examples of Abuse: Emotional, Physical, Financial, Spiritual and Gaslighting
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- Severe Emotional Neglect: Toni’s Story of Finding Freedom (video)
- 40 Years of Murderous Rages and How I Got Free! Karen’s story (video)
- How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)
- Help! I’m Married to a Cheater: Should I Stay or Go?
- Married to a Pedophile: How I Got Out – Pam’s Story (video)
- Help! I Am Alone with the Abuser
God Allows Divorce to Protect Victims
- Jesus’ Greatest Divorce Sermon – Luke 13 (or watch the Video)
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- Myth: The Person Who Files for Divorce Caused the Divorce
- Haven’t Our English Bibles Always Said, “God hates divorce”? No.
- Jesus Said, “Love My Enemy”-Can I Still Divorce Them?
- But I Thought it Was God’s Will for Me to Marry this Person!
- Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)
- One Woman’s Story: Adultery, Prayer and the Bible
- Is Marriage an Unconditional Covenant or a Conditional One? (Video)
- Does Divorce Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church as John Piper Suggests?
- Divorce and the Good Samaritan Story
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church
- Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever
How to Find a Good Supportive Church
- Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce
- 7 Ways to Know if a Church is Safe for Abused Wives (or Abused Husbands)
- Do My Pastors Have a Say about Me Getting a Divorce?
- Good vs. Bad Pastoral Counselors on the Topic of Marital Abuse: 40 People Tell their Stories
What If My Pastor Says It Would Be Wrong to Get Divorced for Abuse?
- 5 Bible Verses that Say You Should Separate from an Abuser
- 1 Million God-honoring Divorcees Cannot Find a Good Church
- Church Denominations and Divorce Policies Comparison Chart
- Excommunication for Getting Divorced? What to Do!
- Evangelicals Shooting their Own Wounded Divorcees (video) or blog/transcript
- How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye
- Myth: You Don’t Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously
- Sermon Ideas for Domestic Violence Awareness Month – October
- Churches That Block Abused Wives (and Husbands) From Divorcing
- Southern Baptists make Evangelicalism Unsafe for Abused Wives & Husbands
- How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)
- List of Every Known Puritan Divorce in Massachusetts between 1639 and 1692.
Divorce Saves Lives: The Surprising (Wonderful!) Truth About Divorce Nobody Told You
- Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce (Nearly 8 in 10 Are!)
- 10 Facts Evangelical Pastors MUST Know about Kids and Divorce [VIDEO]
- There Is No Divorce Crisis. We have a Sin Crisis.
- Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love
Will I Ever Find Love Again? Dating After Divorce: Good News
- Will I Ever Find Love Again?
- Dating after Divorce: An interview with Gina Kaye
- I Fear I’ll Never Find a Healthy Relationship
- Remarriage after Divorce: How Can I Claim to be the Innocent Spouse? I Had My Faults Too!
Finding Happiness and Health After Divorce
- Will the Kids and I Ever Be Happy Again?
- Happiness Either Way: Remarriage or Staying Single
- Divorce May Improve Your Health: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts and Medical Issues
- How My Health Improved Dramatically After Divorce: Karen’s Story (video)
- “I’m Off of All My Depression Medications Now That I’ve Divorced” Schari’s story (video)
- PTSD, EMDR and My Major Health Improvements after Divorce Toni’s story (video)
Thriving After Divorce: These Christians Tell their Stories
- Christians Finding Peace after Divorce: Shirley Fessel, Author (Audio) or (Video)
- 10 Turning Points: Stories of How Others Decided to Stay or to Go
- Married to a Pedophile: How My Kids and I Got Free! (video)
- Finding Joy after a 40-Year Abusive Marriage (video)
- Can I Divorce My Mentally Ill, Destructive Spouse? Yes! Amanda’s Story (video)
- From Bondage to Glorifying God! 5 Survivor Stories (after 20-, 30-, 40-year long abusive marriages)
Self-Doubt, Second-Guessing Ourselves, and Gaslighting
- Am I the One Destroying the Relationship?
- How Can I Call Myself the Innocent Spouse? I Wasn’t Perfect Either (video)
- Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)
- Myth: He Wouldn’t Cheat or Watch Porn if You Gave Him More Sex
- Myth: You’re Lying: We’d All Know If Your Spouse Was That Bad
- Myth: It Takes “Two to Tango” and “All Marriage Problems are 50/50”
- How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye
Children and Divorce: Researchers Give Hope
- Is it Best to “Stay for the Kids”? Sometimes, yes. But Not if It’s a Toxic Marriage
- Bad Fathers Are Bad for Kids, Canceling Out the Benefits of a Two-Parent Married Home
- Researchers Know Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Life-Saving Divorce
- 5 Studies That Say Your Kids are Likely to Be Okay After Divorce (video)
- Marriage Does Not Guarantee Good Kids: 1 in 10 Kids from Married Two-Parent Homes are Troubled.
- Myth 21: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
High Conflict Divorce and Parenting
- Research shows: Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce: In Fact It’s Best to Divorce to Get Away From Abuse
- 12 Ways to Document and Protect Yourself in a High-Conflict Divorce
- 12 Tips for Talking with Angry, Alienated Kids
- Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
Recommended Reading List and Free Resources for Christians and Other People of Faith
Common Myths
- Myth: Your Marriage Would Be Great if You Just Submitted More
- Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids
- Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and “God Hates Divorce”
- Myth: You Just Didn’t Try Hard Enough
- Myth: You Don’t Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously
- Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church
- Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever
- Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love
- 27 Myths about Divorce That Probably Don’t Apply to Committed Christians
FREE
- Download “7 Effective Ways to End the Stigma of Divorce in the Church” (Sign up)
- Download “7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism when You Divorce” (Sign up)
- Download “3 Studies that Show Kids Are Most Likely to Turn Out Fine After Divorce” (Sign up at bottom of page)
FOLLOW
- Home Follow me on Facebook • Follow me on Twitter • Buy the book.
- 10 Key Highlights from the The Life-Saving Divorcebook: 10-minute video overview OR 10 Key highlights blog post
- Request to Join the Life-Saving Divorce Private Facebook Group (Don’t forget to answer the 4 questions)
- Subscribe (FREE) to my You Tube Channel
- About Me Contact
- Gretchen’s Life-Saving Divorce Interviews in the Media
GET THE BOOK! The Life-Saving Divorce is about divorces for very serious reasons: a pattern of sexual immorality, physical abuse, chronic emotional abuse, family-impairing addictions, abandonment, or severe neglect. This book will give you hope for your future, and optimism about your children. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.