Divorce or Legal Separation for Christians

3) What do you do if the other person is dangerous and never improves? Are you legally bound to a destructive person forever, especially a person who want to take revenge on you for separating? That seems to punish the abused spouse more than the one who abuses.

4) If Scripture says a person who doesn't care for their family is "worse than an unbeliever," then how can churches forbid divorce for abuse? It's essentially "abandonment by an unbeliever." The verse also said that such a person has "denied the faith," and for some churches that alone is ground for excommunication.

5) Emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse and infidelity and abandonment. I often hear emotional abuse victims say, "If only he would hit me or cheat on me! Then I could get free with the church's blessing!" That speaks to the desperation of the situation and bondage to someone who does not care about your wellbeing. And there are plenty of Bible passages that tell us to oust people who behave this way from our churches; how much more at 24/7 marriage?

6) Jesus healed on the Sabbath in Luke 13. He released a woman bound by a disabling spirit (an evil spirit), in defiance of the synagogue ruler's Sabbath adherences. Jesus denounced the leader publicly, saying "you treat animals better than that." In the same way, wouldn't Jesus place the safety and well-being of an abused spouse over marriage?

7) In some states if the couple changes their mind, it's faster and less expensive to remarry after a divorce than it is to untangle a legal separation. It also saves money, because you don't have to pay for both a legal separation and a divorce, each of which involve different processes.

Note: #1 and #7 are from an interview with a Christian divorce attorney. You'll find a discussion of this in my book, The Life-Saving Divorce, on pp. 278-279. I am not an attorney, and this is not legal advice. And it's important to consult with an attorney in your state, because every state is different.