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When “Divorce Is Contagious” Misses the Real Story A response to Erin Smalley—and the people who protested her interpretation in the comments Erin Smalley’s Focus on the Family article, “How Do I Stay Married When My Friends Are Divorcing?” is built around a...
Why the NPO’s Claims About Kentucky’s 50/50 Custody Law Don’t Hold Up The National Parents Organization (NPO) claims that Kentucky’s presumed 50/50 custody law proves equal parenting time “works” because divorce rates fell afterward. That argument sounds tidy—but it...
You Are Not Sinning by Refusing to Care for Someone Who Harmed You Why the Bible Does Not Require Survivors to Become Caretakers After my first post about why an abused or betrayed spouse is not legally or morally required to provide caretaking for their abuser, many...
What Focus on the Family’s 2025 Marriage Report Gets Wrong About Divorce, Faith, and Abuse An abuse-informed review of the State of the Family: Marriage Health in America report Short audio summary in multiple languages Focus on the Family’s newly released Marriage...
Here's an imaginary letter from a wife, which represents a common question in my Life-Saving Divorce private online group. Dear Gretchen, I’ve been married for more than forty years to a man who is widely respected in Christian circles for his writing and teaching....
What Is DARVO? How Harm Is Silenced by "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim & Offender" Why You Feel Unheard When You Name Harm If you have ever told your story and mentioned harm—abuse, neglect, exploitation, coercive control, betrayal, or injustice—and walked away...
Safety-First vs. Marriage-First Counseling How to screen counselors—and protect yourself—when your marriage may be unsafe Most people who reach out for marriage counseling aren’t trying to “give up.” They want to save their marriage and turn it around. They’re trying...
Critics Push Back: Answering 7 Objections to How Gary Chapman Talks About His Wife, Karolyn Dec 13, 2025 — When I published my recent article examining how marriage educator Dr. Gary Chapman—one of evangelicalism’s most influential marriage speakers—speaks about his...
The Surprising Way Dr. Gary Chapman Talks About His Wife, Karolyn — And Why It Matters For decades, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, has been held up as the model of “biblical marriage.” Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, and countless churches...