Dr. Gary Chapman is known worldwide for The Five Love Languages, but his own marriage story with his wife, Karolyn, tells a far more complicated truth. In her 1976 testimony, Karolyn, a high achiever academically and athletically, wrote that she developed ulcers during their first year of marriage because the stress was more than she could handle. Yet in Gary’s later interviews, he repeatedly portrays her as spiritually weak, disorganized, or resistant—while elevating himself as the wise leader who “pursued” her and shaped her faith. This post compares his public storytelling across 30 years with the documented historical record of Karolyn’s life, revealing a troubling pattern: his version consistently shrinks her, and grows him. That matters, because his marriage narrative has shaped evangelical teaching for millions of couples.If reading his advice gives you ulcers, you’re not alone.