Life-Saving Divorce Paperback or eBook


Life-Saving Divorce Front Cover


Do You Know Someone Who Needs a Life-Saving Divorce?

Not all divorces are for falling out of love! More than 40% of divorces are for very serious reasons such as serial infidelity, sexual immorality, physical abuse, chronic emotional abuse, and substance abuse.

I've led divorce recovery groups since 1998, and I find there is a common myth: That rule-following Christians who did everything right before marriage will find a fantastic spouse and will live happily ever after. In reality, a lot of us ended up with someone who was unsafe.

Good News!

There is life after divorce. There is happiness after divorce! Those who hang onto God will see him “restore the years the locust have eaten.” On average, children are resilient and will bounce back. They aren’t doomed. And you can find self-respect and hold your head high again as a beloved child of God. This book gives you faith and hope for the future.

I’ve spent hours listening to Christian women and men tell their stories. From childhood they hoped for a perfect Christian marriage, they gave it their all, they forgave over and over, only to discover they needed a life-saving divorce. Yet they don't want a divorce. They fear they are going against their churches teachings, or worse, they are worried they are failing God.

But you can love God AND get divorced.

In the LIFE-SAVING DIVORCE, you’ll be set free from worries such as…

  • Fear: Your children will be permanently harmed by divorcing.
  • Truth: This book will show you why most children no longer have long-term serious harm due to divorce.
  • Fear: You just didn’t try hard enough.
  • Truth: Yes, if you forgave and you went the extra mile again and again, you definitely wanted to save your marriage. Most of us gave it 110%.
  • Fear: You obviously don’t take God-ordained marriage seriously enough.
  • Truth: Most people of faith believe in the sanctity of marriage, otherwise you would not have stayed as long as you did.
  • Fear: Your divorce will shatter the image of Christ and the Church.
  • Truth: No, Christ and the Church are eternal. Nothing—no sin, no evil, and certainly no divorce—can destroy them.
  • Fear: It’s always best to stay for the children.
  • Truth: It's very bad for children to be abused and/or to watch a parent being abused. Chaos, tension, and anxiety — even if there is no one getting physically injured — can lead to health problems in the future.
  • Fear: It takes two to tango. So I must somehow be at fault.
  • Truth: Although this may be true in some marriages, it is not in the case of life-saving divorces. You’ve probably sacrificed a lot to hold your marriage together. Just the fact that you keep trying proves your dedication.
  • Fear: The one who files for divorce is sinning.
  • Truth: No, not in a life-saving divorce. In the case of a destructive marriage, the one who files is just bringing the legal record up to date to reflect reality.


The Life-Saving Divorce will give you…

• 4 studies that find that most kids turn out fine after divorce.

• Evidence that your child won’t get divorced just because you divorced.

• Evidence that 9-in-10 kids from divorced homes do NOT have drug or alcohol problems

• Key Bible Verses on Divorce, and why you can divorce for infidelity, neglect, sexual immorality, or physical or emotional abuse.

• 6 single parenting mistakes and how to avoid them.

• 27 myths about divorce that aren't true - at least not in Life-Saving divorces

• 33 traits of safe churches and friends

What is the top Christian theologian on the topic of divorce saying?

This practical and straightforward book combines a traditional high regard for scripture with the latest results of academic research by Christian scholars and applies it to pastoral realities. The problem of abuse within marriage is shamefully common but rarely mentioned, especially in churches. The approach of this book is both empathic and well researched, employing the latest stats alongside clear advice. A must for anyone involved in pastoral work and a lifeline for those suffering within marriages.
—Rev Dr David Instone-Brewer,

What are pastors saying about Gretchen Baskerville, author of the Life-Saving Divorce?

“Gretchen is giving freedom for captives. She helped me think deeply about deeply held wrong ideas related to divorce!” — Pastor Neil Schori

“I describe Gretchen as generous, wise, courageous. She has given me as a pastor both a theology and a practice that reflect the heart of God toward people who divorce and people who consider divorce.” — Pastor Cole Brown

What People are Saying about Gretchen Baskerville, author of the Life-Saving Divorce

“Thank you, Gretchen. …You and a couple of others have truly carried me through the darkest parts of this. I thank God for you.” — Jen Coles

“Thank you for what you are doing. So many are dying a slow from-the-inside-out kind of death.” —Mia Kennedy, Twitter

“Right on target. I feel I’m not alone in my situation.” — Sheryl Weaver

“When I think of Gretchen, I think of the words: Needed, truth-telling, hope. She filled in the data and research behind the things I knew by experience, both personally and from others I know. There is so much bad Christian advice that doesn’t acknowledge destructive marriage and abuse, this truth is so needed in the world.” — Jodi Pompa, Twitter

“Necessary, overdue, comforting. Gretchen helped me realize so many people are struggling with false guilt over this issue.” —Rachel Ramer

“Her voice is crucial, liberating, hopeful. She helped me see my life and marriage through God’s gracious eyes.” — Richelle Wiseman

“Sympathetic, liberating, rational. She helped me not feel the pressure of having to sustain a marriage on my own and [helped me understand] that divorce is a valid option instead of continually being made to feel less than or staying with someone who doesn’t want to stay with you.” —Jeffrey Lewis

Refreshing, eye- opening, life-changing. She helped me get rid of the guilt I felt for divorcing my abusive husband.” — Sarah Smith

“She helped me understand and support better women and men trapped in abusive marriages due to an outdated and biased religious belief system.” —Romeo Elias

“She’s an advocate, empowerer, and strong. She helps release shame for being a divorced Christian woman.” —Sandi Moore

“Gretchen is supportive, unapologetic, and confirming. She helped me understand I am not alone in my divorce walk. That the Christian community need not vilify already damaged spouses who have to seek divorce.” —Holli Lewis

“She gives hope, mercy, and strength. She helped lessen the shame I carry as a divorced woman of deep faith.” —Marilyn Smith

“She gives support, freedom, and vindication. Gretchen has helped me to see that I’m not alone!” —Andrea Holme

“Transformational, honest, refreshing. I realized God didn’t want me to give my life for my marriage. I am worth so much more than that.” — E. Farley

“Bold, kind, truth. Gretchen helped me process my parents’ divorce in a way that I don’t have to feel guilty about it at church and now know how to defend why it was a good thing for our family.” —Sarah Barnard

“Gretchen is perceptive, honest, and compassionate. She is someone who understands the importance of focusing on women’s wellbeing rather than the patriarchy.” —Shirley Fessel, MA, MEd

“Encouraging, educating, freeing. Gretchen helped me confirm further in my mind what my mom put up with for 31 and a half years until God called her home.” —Lisa Kramer

“Brave, earnest, wise. Gretchen helped me walk boldly and unashamed as a divorce woman.” — Kim Vest

“She’s a god-send. She’s helped me to recognize the covert abuse I’ve endured for two decades.” — Anonymous

“She has a message for those who feel unaddressed, useless guilt, trapped. She affirms my understanding of what God does NOT expect or require of women in bad marriages.” — Angela

“She gives real help now, and helped me shake off the stigma created by Christendom.” —Hepzibah

“She helped me look deeper into God’s love.”— Ley

“Her words are vital, practical, and relatable. Gretchen helped me stop shaming myself for leaving my abusive marriage.” — Katherine Leonard


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