Why Do the Wicked Prosper?
As a Christian divorce recovery leader for nearly 30 years, I’ve sat with countless women who left abusive marriages, desperate for safety and a chance to have a peaceful life. Over and over, I hear the heartbreak that comes after, the struggle to provide for themselves and their children while watching their ex-husbands soon appear to thrive. Too often, everyone around them seems to marvel at how “blessed” the abuser’s life has suddenly become, leaving these courageous women wondering why their difficult lives don’t reflect the vindication of the decision to get to safety. It doesn’t feel fair, and sometimes faith answers can sound hollow in the face of such injustice.
Often they say something like this:
“Anyone else ever watched their ex prosper after leaving you behind—after betraying not just you, but the life and promises you built together? It’s a special kind of pain when the person who abandoned you shows up in your community smiling, engaged to their new romantic partner, building a life of prosperity, living the future you were supposed to have. And suddenly, you’re the one being side-eyed by neighbors and church friends—a silent judgment, as if maybe you’re the problem, and your ex is now proof that “God rewards the faithful.” It hurts. And yes, I already know the Christian answer is forgiveness. But if you’ve been there, you know that’s often a bandaid on something much deeper. It’s not envy or a desire for revenge that keeps me awake at night—it’s seeing all the goals he dreamed aloud with me come true…for someone else. I can’t believe I’m the only one who sees how upside-down that is. I do trust God has a purpose and that there’s growth at the end of this. But it feels doubly cruel to be left with unanswered prayers while the person who broke me is now “blessed”—and to have people I trusted treat me like I’m the problem.
Has anyone else walked through this kind of betrayal, and felt abandoned by both a partner and their own faith community? Let’s talk about it—because sometimes “forgive and move on” just isn’t enough.
Let me offer some support and comfort:
I hear your pain in this—watching an ex quickly appear ‘blessed’ while you’re left with the broken promises feels like salt in the wound. It’s not just about them moving on, it’s about the public perception that somehow their prosperity means you were the problem. That cuts deep.
But appearances aren’t the full story. Scripture shows us over and over that people can seem to flourish for a season while living in deception (Psalm 37). What others praise as ‘blessing’ may in fact be building on sand. Your worth and your story don’t shrink because your ex is putting on a show of success.
God hasn’t forgotten you. The same Jesus who stood up to religious leaders in Luke 13 called out those who took pride in toeing-the-line externally but missed God’s heart. Communities often get it wrong, but God sees both truth and hidden pain.
Healing and real blessing can’t be stolen from you, because that comes from God alone.
You did a hard thing and you can hold your head high.
Many survivors of betrayal and injustice after divorce experience something deeper than sadness or anger—it’s called moral injury. This ache comes from watching those who caused harm appear to flourish, while the community and sometimes even the church offer pat answers, sweeping the hurt under the carpet, and adding further harm. When faith traditions urge forgiveness or silence the cries for justice, it can leave lasting wounds on a person’s soul—a sense that one’s own suffering and truth are being minimized or dismissed.
Moral injury isn’t just about what happens in court or in relationships—it’s also about being told to accept or spiritually reframe painful realities, rather than having them named and acknowledged. True healing begins only when we can face this injury, speak honestly about our experiences, and find compassionate community that values justice along with grace.
Take the Moral Injury Quiz here.
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