When a Marriage Looks Fine but Is Quietly Destroying You Sometimes the marriage that looks “fine” from the outside is slowly crushing the person living inside it. Not because...
Abuse examples
Abuse Isn’t “Subjective”: How Control Patterns Are Measurable (Even in Christian Counseling)
The Pushback: “If She’s Depressed, Her Perception Is Altered” When it comes to physical and emotional abuse in Christian contexts, one of the most common pushbacks I see on...
Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife: Resisting Sexual Harassment and Assault
Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife: Resisting Sexual Harassment and Assault (Genesis 39) Update: I’ve written a shorter, search-friendly version of this article here: Is It Sexual...
When “Leave and Cleave” Becomes Spiritual Abuse
When “Leave and Cleave” Becomes Spiritual Isolation Genesis 2:24 says a man shall “leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.” Beautiful. Sacred. Good. But in some...
Is Divorce Really “Contagious”? What the Church Keeps Missing
When “Divorce Is Contagious” Misses the Real Story A response to Erin Smalley—and the people who protested her interpretation in the comments Erin Smalley’s Focus on the Family...
What Is DARVO? How Abuse Survivors Are Silenced by Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim Offender
What Is DARVO? How Harm Is Silenced by "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim & Offender" Why You Feel Unheard When You Name Harm If you have ever told your story and mentioned...
Christian Man Uses Abuse Tactics to Shame Victims on a Domestic-Violence Post
When Churches Protect Marriage More Than People A Facebook Comment That Proved the Point I posted this statement and meme on Facebook—and got an interesting comment (below):...
Why Trying to Fix an Abuser Doesn’t Work
The Hard Truths about Abusers: Myths, Motives, and Recognizing Reality The Myth that the Victim's Unconditional Love will Cure Them So many women and men who reach out for help...
Quiz: Moral Injury & Christian Abuse Survivors who Divorce
Moral Injury and Christian Abuse Survivors who Divorce Scroll down to the Moral Injury Quiz below. What is Moral Injury? The concept of “Moral injury” refers to the...
How to Help a Friend in an Abusive or Destructive Marriage (Without Pressuring Her to Leave)
How to Help a Friend in an Abusive or Destructive Marriage (Without Pressuring Her to Leave) If someone you love is in a destructive or possibly abusive marriage, your instincts...
No Contact versus The Silent Treatment: Definition and Quiz
What's the Difference Between No Contact and The Silent Treatment? People often wonder: What does it mean that my spouse is refusing to talk? Is my husband or wife using "gray...
What is J.A.D.E. and Gray Rock?
J.A.D.E., Gray Rock, and How to Stop Feeding a Toxic Person’s Need for Conflict Toxic people crave arguments. They love to challenge you, attack you, and pull you into endless...
“Marriage Is Hard. Divorce Is Hard.” No—That’s Not the Choice
Critique of the Saying, "Marriage is Hard. Divorce is Hard. Choose Your Hard" There's a meme going around the internet and it starts with the line "Marriage is Hard....
Why You Didn’t See the Red Flags — And Why It’s Not Your Fault
Abusive Marriage? It Might Not Be Your Fault You Didn’t See the Red Flags For a short audio summary, listen here: Many survivors are told—by others or by their own inner...
1 in 4 Highly Religious Marriages Report Intimate Partner Violence (Shocking Study)
1 in 4 Highly Religious U.S. Marriages Report Abuse How Common Is Abuse in Christian Marriages? Most people assume that deeply religious couples are protected from intimate...
He Never Hit Me: Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Marriage
HE NEVER HIT ME: SIGNS OF AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE MARRIAGE I interviewed Cindy Burrell who is the author of the book, "Why Is He So Mean to Me?" and a writer on the topic...
Is It Sexual Harassment If the Victim Didn’t Fight or Run?
Is It Sexual Harassment If the Victim Didn’t Fight or Run? Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife: A Biblical Example (Genesis 39) Yes. It is still sexual harassment — and it may still be...
Can I Divorce After Saying “For Better or For Worse”?
CAN I DIVORCE AFTER SAYING "FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE"? When committed people of faith promise "for better or for worse" in our wedding vows, we take those words seriously....
Does “For Better or For Worse” Mean I Cannot Divorce?
DOES "FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE" MEAN I CANNOT DIVORCE? Editor’s Note (2026): I’ve written a more comprehensive article examining all five traditional wedding vows (for...
Toxic People Love to Argue
Toxic people crave arguments! They love to challenge you and attack you, because they love being the center of attention. So any time they can tempt you to interact with...
How Do I Know If My Abusive Spouse Has Really Changed? 3 Signs That Matter
How Do I Know If My Spouse Has Really Changed? Summary: This article gives 3 ways you can know if your abusive or addicted spouse has really changed and 3 signs that they have...