What do you do if you're a woman of faith but have experienced abuse or betrayal in your marriage? What if you know you need to get out, but you're worried about God's disapproval? Let's face it, Christians (or other people of faith) may have been told they are sinners if they divorce. They really struggle with the decision and feelings of guilt—even if the divorce is much needed. If you are a conservative Christian (or other woman of faith) who needs emotional support and encouragement this summer, you might be interested in my Life-Saving Divorce Summer Support Group. It's low cost ($19 total for 9 weeks, each week is 90 minutes). I've been leading divorce recovery groups in churches for more than 20 years.

Go here to see the times, dates, and topics:  https://gumroad.com/l/NQgWq

Divorcing, or thinking about it? Get support, encouragement, and a place to share this summer! Join our weekly discussion group to help you survive and thrive during June, July and August! This is a warm vibrant community of women of faith who want to talk with others about the ups and downs.

Just $19 for 9 weeks on Zoom.

No homework, no book, no videos, just talking about a different topic each week.

After you register for the group, you'll be sent to another webpage to get the Zoom registration.


Wednesday nights - 90 minutes per session - June 30-Aug 25, 2021

6pm Pacific / 7pm Mountain / 8pm Central / 9pm Eastern


June 30 - Topic: Rebuilding your Self-Respect

July 7 - Topic: Dealing with Loneliness

July 14 - Topic: Letting Go of Guilt and Shame

July 21 - Topic: Conquering Fear

July 28 - Topic: Moving Beyond Grief and Loss

August 4 - Topic: Finding Forgiveness

August 11 - Topic: Trauma Recovery: Making Choices, Finding your Voice

August 18 - Topic: Setting Boundaries and Consequences

August 25 - Topic: Finding a New Meaning and Purpose


To sign up, go here: https://gumroad.com/l/NQgWq


"What is a Life-Saving Divorce?" click HEREhttp://lifesavingdivorce.com/what-is-a-life-saving-divorce/

A life-saving divorce is a divorce for serious reasons. It's the opposite of a frivolous divorce. It is not an "I'm bored" divorce, or an "I feel unfulfilled" divorce, or an "I miss the party life" divorce, or an "I'm just not that into you" divorce.

Nearly half of divorces in America are for serious issues: a pattern of adultery, sexual immorality, domestic violence, chronic emotional abuse, life-altering addictions, abandonment or severe neglect. I call these the Life-Saving Divorces.

What? Nearly half of divorces? That's not what I was told!

Hey, I hear you. If you're skeptical, I understand. I was shocked to discover this. I've attended church from the day I was born. I'm a devout Christian, brought up by loving committed Christian parents who have been married 60 years and counting. I worked in Christian organizations nearly all my adult life. No one ever told me this. In fact, my pastors and the Christian authors/websites I read always gave me the impression that 95% of divorces were for falling out of love. They told me most divorcees were people who were quitters and wanted to take the easy way out. They said divorcees were people who just didn't have the determination to go the distance like everyone else. They suggested that divorcees didn't believe in the sanctity of marriage and just told themselves "the grass is greener" if they could just find a different spouse.

But that "myth" began to die about 25 years ago I went through my own life-saving divorce. I wasn't looking for greener grass. I was desperate to get away from destruction, to distance myself (and my kids) from  the turmoil of my ex's sexual addiction. I wasn't happy and optimistic about divorce. I wasn't looking forward to being single again. I was terrified. I started asking: "Why did this happen to me? How did a good committed Christian like me get into such a bad marriage? Are there other Christians who divorce for serious reasons? For goodness sake, I loved the Lord and read my Bible all the time! I had a Bible and Christian Education degree from Wheaton College and had done everything right when we were dating. I had read Elisabeth Elliot books over and over and was a big fan of Focus on the Family. I met a guy at church and we had followed every proper dating step. (continued)

Most popular posts:

Is divorce the unpardonable sin? Does God "hate divorce"?  (No, life-saving divorces are not sinful. The Bible permits them.)

One woman's story of adultery, prayer and divorce. 

Will my children be destroyed by divorce?

[AUDIO & TRANSCRIPTION] Introduction to Life-Saving Divorce.

My quest to find these answers started when my church asked me and another divorcee to start a small group Bible study for single mothers. The Christian women in our group had the same questions we did. How could we have gotten into such bad marriages? Were we just incredibly rare? Was God punishing us for some reason? Or are terrible marriages more common than we thought?

Destructive marriages are more common than we thought.

We weren't alone. For decades family researchers have wondered the same thing. Why do people divorce?  They've done a lot of surveys of divorced men and woman who reported anonymously.

Here are the four significant surveys.

Survey 1 - In this first survey, the participants had divorced over age 40. Of these, 50% of divorcees mentioned the most significant reason was one of the serious reasons: adultery, sexual immorality, domestic violence, chronic emotional abuse, or abandonment (neglect of duty). [1]

Survey 2 - In this survey of participants age 20- 55, about 42% of divorcees mentioned at least one of the reasons above as the issue that caused the divorce. [2]

Survey 3 - In this study, divorcees could select more than one major contributor to their divorce: 58% of divorcees mentioned infidelity; 30% mentioned domestic violence. (They did not offer drug/alcohol abuse as a choice.) [3]

Survey 4 - In this study, too, participants could select more than one factor in their divorce. Infidelity was a major contributor in 59.6% of divorces, substance abuse in 34.6%, and domestic violence in 23.5%. [4]

Nearly half of divorces are for life-saving reasons.

What this shows is that somewhere between 42% and 59% of divorces are for serious problems. So about half of divorces.

For a long time, we in the church have tended to think about divorce, and about people who have gotten divorced, as though only five percent of those divorces happened for good reason. As you can see from these studies, that’s not true.

There is a lot of bad behavior that makes marriages miserable: unfaithfulness, physical or mental abuse, drug or alcohol abuse, refusing to support the family, or simply walking out the door and never returning.

When the desperate spouse says, “I can’t take any more suffering and betrayal,” we call it a “life-saving” divorce. And only that desperate spouse knows how much they can take. No one else has skin in the game, not the pastor, not their parents, not their friends or people at church.

Those who taught us that 95% of divorces are "frivolous" are simply wrong. 

Nearly half of divorces are life-saving divorces.

Do You Need Support?  I’d like to invite you to my private Facebook group, "Life-Saving Divorce for Separated or Divorced Christians." ANSWER the 3 QUESTIONS. This is a group for women and men of faith who have walked this path, or are considering it.


Start Here



Does God Hate Divorce? He May Hate Divorce, But He Hates Abuse & Betrayal More!


Physical and Emotional Abuse & Infidelity


God Allows Divorce to Protect Victims


How to Find a Good Supportive Church


What If My Pastor Says It Would Be Wrong to Get Divorced for Abuse?



Divorce Saves Lives: The Surprising (Wonderful!) Truth About Divorce Nobody Told You

Will I Ever Find Love Again? Dating After Divorce: Good News

Finding Happiness and Health After Divorce


Thriving After Divorce: These Christians Tell their Stories

Self-Doubt, Second-Guessing Ourselves, and Gaslighting


Children and Divorce: Researchers Give Hope


High Conflict Divorce and Parenting


Recommended Reading List and Free Resources for Christians and Other People of Faith


Common Myths






GET THE BOOK! The Life-Saving Divorce is about divorces for very serious reasons: a pattern of sexual immorality, physical abuse, chronic emotional abuse, life-altering addictions, abandonment, or severe neglect. This book will give you hope for your future, and optimism about your children. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.



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