There is No Divorce Crisis. There is a "Marriage-Endangering Sin" Crisis
Shocking but true: We don't have a divorce crisis in the U.S. (The divorce rate is almost as low as it was 50 years ago. The high was in the 1980s.)
We have a "marriage-endangering sin" crisis. We have an adultery and abuse crisis. If every spouse stopped committing adultery, using violence or intimidation to get what they want, squandering the family rent and grocery money, and stopped abusing drugs/alcohol, our divorce rate would drop like a rock.
Now let me be clear: Are there frivolous immature divorces? Yes, there are. Are there treacherous divorces where one spouse runs off with their lover or decides to go back to the single party scene? Yes, of course.
But our Evangelical divorce rates will automatically drop when destructive sinful behavior in marriages drops. If half of divorces in the U.S. are due to a pattern of adultery, sexual immorality, physical abuse, emotional abuse, severe addictions, abandonment, or neglect, then that is the place to start. We need to discourage people with major marriage-endangering sins from marrying. They need to come before the Lord and work on their issues and prove themselves to be safe and reliable mates, rather than hoping that marriage will automatically change them. We need to educate young people to identify and avoid potential spouses, even fellow Christians, who have serious abuse, intimidation, coercion, addiction, or sexual immorality problems. We also need to give them permission to point out new or increasing marriage-endangering sins that emerge during the marriage.
Our churches need a nuanced view of divorce. We need to accept that some divorces are life-saving divorces for very serious things that are condemned in the Bible and given as valid reasons for divorce. If we do not, we will continue to see Christian divorcees and their children leave because our churches aren’t safe for them.
You cannot reduce divorce merely by condemning divorce.
If you wish to reduce divorce you must reduce unsafe marriages.
Examples of 150 examples of types of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and neglect) and explaining the term "gaslighting," along with many first-person stories, read Chapter 4 in the Life-Saving Divorce.
For a diagram of The Abuse Cycle, read Chapter 4.
For a video explanation of Malachi 2:16, showing better ways to translate that verse from Hebrew into English, see this video.
For one woman's story about adultery and prayer and how God finally opened her eyes to leave, see this blog post.
For another woman's story of escaping an adulterous marriage to a narcissist, read pages 176-177, or read this blog post Turning Point #1
For first-person stories and more on the 27 myths of divorce, read Chapter 3 in The Life-Saving Divorce. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.