Will I Ever Be Happy Again After Divorce?

I've heard divorce will destroy me and my kids forever. Is that true?

No, in the vast majority of cases that is not true.

Often churches have been given misinformation about the effects of divorce on divorcees and children. They will tell you that you will never be happy again; your next marriage will end tragically too because "you'll bring your problems into the next marriage"; and that your kids will be destroyed, have drug/alcohol/behavior problems and their marriages will fail too. But all of this is incorrect.

According to 20 years of research, none of these are true for the vast majority of people who need to escape from long destructive or unfaithful marriages. There is research showing that you are likely to be happier if you leave a long destructive marriage. In fact, a study using Baylor University data, shows that 7 in 10 Christians are happy after divorce, that includes all divorces, both life-saving and not. And remember: Baylor is the largest Baptist university in the world. See the graph below.

Ryan Burge final bay_happ_after_div

KIDS AND DIVORCE

 

Research has shown that nearly 8 in 10 kids turn out fine after divorce, with no serious long-term psychological, emotional, or social problems.

And in fact, researchers have also found that the worse the marriage, the better divorce is for kids (and conversely, if you marriage is kind and loving, divorce is horrible for kids).

Dr. E. Mavis Heatherington (11)

 

POPULAR BLOG POSTS

Start Here

What is a Life-Saving Divorce? How Many Are There?  (or watch the video)

Life-Saving Divorce: Introduction What Is this Book About? (audio and transcript)

About Me: Why Is a Nice Christian Girl Like Me Promoting Divorce?

How Can I Get the Book, The Life-Saving Divorce? (Amazon affiliate link.)

 

Physical and Emotional Abuse & Infidelity

Help! I Am Alone with the Abuser

Abuse is Biblical Grounds for Divorce

But He Never Hit Me”: Divorce for Neglect, Emotional, and Financial Abuse

Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce

Severe Emotional Neglect: Toni’s Story of Finding Freedom (video)
40 Years of Murderous Rages and How I Got Free! Karen’s story (video)

How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)

Help! I’m Married to a Cheater: Should I Stay or Go?
Married to a Pedophile: How I Got Out – Pam’s Story (video)

 

God Allowed Divorce to Protect Vulnerable People

Jesus' Greatest Divorce Sermon - Luke 13  (or watch the Video)

Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce

Myth: The Person Who Files for Divorce Caused the Divorce

Jesus Said, "Love My Enemy"—Can I Still Divorce Them?

But I Thought it Was God's Will for Me to Marry this Person!

Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)

One Woman's Story: Adultery, Prayer and the Bible

Is Marriage an Unconditional Covenant or a Conditional One? (Video)

Does Divorce Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church as John Piper Suggests?

Divorce and the Good Samaritan Story

Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and "God Hates Divorce"

Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church

Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever

 

How to Find a Good Supportive Church

Pastors Who Accept Physical and Emotional Abuse as Grounds for Divorce

1 Million God-honoring Divorcees Cannot Find a Good Church

Church Denominations and Divorce Policies Comparison Chart

Excommunication for Getting Divorced? What to Do If Your Church Threatens You

Evangelicals Shooting their Own Wounded Divorcees (video) or blog/transcript

How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye

Myth: You Don't Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously

Sermon Ideas for Domestic Violence Awareness Month - October

Churches That Block Abused Wives (and Husbands) From Divorcing

Southern Baptists make Evangelicalism Unsafe for Abused Wives & Husbands

How Churches Should Handle Abuse Victims (video with Pastor Neil Schori)

 

 

Divorce Saves Lives: The Surprising (Wonderful!) Truth About Divorce Nobody Told You

Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce (Nearly 8 in 10 Are!)

10 Facts Evangelical Pastors MUST Know about Kids and Divorce [VIDEO]

There Is No Divorce Crisis. We have a Sin Crisis.

Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love

 

 

Will I Ever Find Love Again? Dating After Divorce: Good News

Dating after Divorce: An interview with Gina Kaye

I Fear I'll Never Find a Healthy Relationship

Remarriage after Divorce: How Can I Claim to be the Innocent Spouse? I Had My Faults Too!

 

Finding Happiness and Health After Divorce

Will I Ever Be Happy Again?

Will I Find Love Again?

Happiness Either Way: Remarriage or Staying Single

Divorce May Improve Your Health: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts and Medical Issues

How My Health Improved Dramatically After Divorce: Karen’s Story (video)
“I’m Off of All My Depression Medications Now That I’ve Divorced” Shari’s story (video)

PTSD, EMDR and My Major Health Improvements after Divorce Toni’s story (video)

 

 

Thriving After Divorce: These Christians Tell their Stories

Christians Finding Peace after Divorce: Shirley Fessel, Author (Audio) or (Video)
10 Turning Points: Stories of How Others Decided to Stay or to Go

Married to a Pedophile: How My Kids and I Got Free! (video)
Finding Joy after a 40-Year Abusive Marriage (video)

Can I Divorce My Mentally Ill, Destructive Spouse? Yes! Amanda’s Story (video)

From Bondage to Glorifying God! 5 Survivor Stories (after 20-, 30-, 40-year long abusive marriages)

 

Self-Doubt, Second-Guessing Ourselves, and Gaslighting

Am I the One Destroying the Relationship?
How Can I Call Myself the Innocent Spouse? I Wasn’t Perfect Either (video)

Is Pointing Out Marriage-Endangering Sin Being Judgmental? (video)

Myth: He Wouldn't Cheat or Watch Porn if You Gave Him More Sex

Myth: You're Lying: We'd All Know If Your Spouse Was That Bad

Myth: It Takes "Two to Tango" and "All Marriage Problems are 50/50"

How to Handle Criticism When You Divorce (video-3 parts) Natalie Hoffman, Gina Kaye

 

Children and Divorce: Researchers Give Hope

Researchers Know Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce

5 Studies That Say Your Kids are Likely to Be Okay After Divorce (video)

Myth 21: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids

 

 

High Conflict Divorce and Parenting

Research shows: Your Kids Will Likely Be Fine After Divorce: In Fact It’s Best to Divorce to Get Away From Abuse

12 Tips for Talking with Angry, Alienated Kids

Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids

 

Recommended Reading List and Free Resources for Christians and Other People of Faith

Best Books/Resources on Abuse, Infidelity, Parental Alienation, and High-Conflict Divorce

 

 

Common Myths

Myth: Your Marriage Would Be Great if You Just Submitted More

Myth: Divorce will Destroy Your Children, So Stay for the Sake of Your Kids

Myth: Divorce is the Unpardonable Sin and "God Hates Divorce"

Myth: You Just Didn't Try Hard Enough

Myth: You Don't Take God-Ordained Marriage Seriously

Myth: Your Divorce Will Shatter the Image of Christ and the Church

Myth: You Must Forgive and Forget Over and Over, Forever

Myth: 95% of Divorces are for Falling Out of Love

27 Myths about Divorce That Probably Don't Apply to Committed Christians

 

 

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Gretchen’s Life-Saving Divorce Interviews in the Media

Examples of 150 examples of types of abuse (physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, financial, and neglect) and explaining the term "gaslighting," along with many first-person stories, read Chapter 4 in The Life-Saving Divorce.

For more on the myths of divorce, buy the Life-Saving Divorce.

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