This simple infographic explains the difference between "No Contact," "Gray Rock" (Grey Rock), and "Yellow Rock." These are methods to deal with manipulative, controlling, or difficult people in your life.

Infographic explaining the difference between Gray Rock, Yellow Rock and No Contact?
What is Gray Rock, Yellow Rock and No Contact?

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Gray Rock is a method of dealing with a destructive person when you are legally required to have them in your life. For example, if you have joint custody of minor children together. If you aren't required to communicate with this toxic person, you would employ the No Contact strategy and never interact with them, ignoring their attempts to get you to engage with them, including emails, phone calls, texts, and letters, and efforts by their friends to contact you.

Gray Rock usually looks like:

(1) Only communicating in writing (text, email) so there is a paper trail, and lies are easier to document. If you ex is tech-savvy, you may need to communicate through one of the coparenting apps that difficult to falsify: OurFamilyWizard, AppClose, TalkingParents, etc.

(2) Short answers about logistics only.

(3) No emotion (no anger, defending, explaining) because any time you show emotion, they turn it against you.

(4) If needed, remind them of your court judgment, and merely say: "I will abide by the court ruling of Nov 5."  For a list of handy factual (and non-emotional) phrases to use with a manipulative ex, go HERE

(5) Getting good at saying, "You opinion is noted. I do not see that event the same way you do." And not one word more.

Yellow Rock is like Gray Rock, except you include "Thank you," "Please," and "Hello" in your communication.

For more information:
* The phrase "Gray Rock" [Grey Rock] was coined in the article: "The Gray Rock Method of Dealing With Psychopaths" Yellow Rock was coined by Tina Swithin,


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